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Crocker! My Pal, The Vagina

By Dan Crocker Jul 31, 2014 - 4:25 PM print


At one time, Vagina and I were great friends. The best of buds. Amigos. We played pool. We shopped. We watched Desperate Housewives. You know the routine. We’d bar hop just about every weekend. We’d head on over to Shooter’s or someplace like that and play Willie and Waylon on the juke. Usually we’d drink beer. But sometimes she’d have a Tequila night. More than once we fought our way out.

She didn’t handle Tequila well, but she didn’t cry in it either. She just sort of got sad.

“There was this one time . . .” Vagina would start before ordering another round.

One day she decided we'd skip Desperate Housewives and start watching Designing Women. Can the Golden Girls be far behind, I wondered. We were happy.

We were fantastic together. But you know how it goes. It’s always the same old story with best buds. Something eventually gets in the way. Now, Vagina wasn’t necessarily the jealous type. It was more than that. You see, I got married and pretty soon me and Vagina just sort drifted apart. I don’t see her much anymore. In fact, I never see her anymore.



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