We Want Insanity
My Son Lucas
Fightin’ Words: Breakdown of UFC 220: Miocic vs Ngannou
TGIF: He's Next For The Hall of Fame, Raw 25, and More
2017's Tag Team of the Year Is...
(32 Mins) Honor Nation: Finishing The Paige

Retro-Repost: 6/13/06 ECW Debut on SciFi: Mallory's Real Time Coverage

By Mallory Mahling Feb 16, 2010 - 3:43 PM print

Originally Posted on June 13, 2006

(JG Note:  As we all prepare for tonight's final ECW on SyFy episode (RD Lee's Real Time Report goes live when the show does), I wanted to take a look back at the first edition care of Mallory Mahling's Real Time Report from June 13, 2006.  Next week is NXT Week, so let's relive the memories of McStream.)


Welcome to tonight's ongoing coverage of the debut of E-C-Dub on the SciFi Network. You may need to hit "refresh" from time to time to see the latest update.

Tonight's show was allegedly live from the Sovereign Bank Arena in Trenton, New Jersey.

Six years ago this month I began my Internet recapping journey with a review of ECW on TNN. It's been a lot of years and a lot of reviews since then, but here we are again, chanting E-C-Dub, E-C-Dub, E-C-Dub! just like we'd never been away.

The show started with a recap of last Sunday night's "One Night Stand." Rob Van Dam had captured the WWE Title, and as we found out last night on Raw, the decision stands. RVD is still the champ.

Let the bodies hit the floor...

Paul Heyman headed to the ring as Joey Styles and Tazz welcomed viewers to the show.

Ahhh , I thought, just like old times.

Heyman said it was his honor to introduce Rob Van Dam. Styles noted that until ONS, RVD was arguably the best wrestler never to be a WWE champion.

Van Dam proudly showed off his hard-earned title belt and wondered where John Cena was. He'd said he'd be at the debut show.

(They had either skimped on microphones or batteries for the mics, since the sound in the ring was spotty at best. It also appeared that they were trying to kill time.)

Heyman said had a surprise for RVD. He pulled an ECW World Championship belt out of a felt bag, and RVD put one belt over each shoulder. He said he cherished the new ECW belt, but he wanted to keep the spinny WWE belt, too.

You think you know him...Edge, that is. He came out with Miss Congeniality...err...Lita, and thanked Paul E. for inviting them to the show. He said he respected Van Dam. Edge said he and RVD had broken the glass ceiling because of their ability. Edge respectfully extended his hand and they shook like gentlemen. Edge started to leave the ring, then turned and speared Van Dam. As Edge and Lita exited through the crowd, John Cena showed up right behind him and started pounding on him. RVD joined Cena and Edge was in a world of hurt. Edge gave RVD a low blow, then left through the crowd. Cena punched Heyman for good measure on his way out.

The locker room emptied and Joey wondered what was going on. From the looks of it, another episode of Raw.

(Commercial break)

Backstage, Heyman was furious. If Monday Night Raw wants to mess with ECW, ECW will mess with Monday Night Raw next week.

Spooky music hit and a zombie came out. Turns out his name was The Zombie. The walking dead. Dead...like the crowd. The Zombie grabbed the mic and grunted. Now the mic works. Go figure.

"This is laughable," said Joey. He was absolutely right.

Sandman came out to his new elevator music, crushed a beer can on his head and headed to the ring with his cane. Hopefully to beat the crap out of that Zombie character.

(1) Sandman vs. The Zombie. Yep, that's just what he did. I guess that was the first match. Sandman won it in about 30 seconds and celebrated with another beer. Or two.

Kelly, an exhibitionist, introduced herself and said she was going to take off all her clothes.

(Commercial break)

Last Sunday at ONS, Tazz returned to the ring to take on Jerry "The King" Lawler in a match. Jerry "The Gut" had bitch slapped Styles on his way to the ring and ended up getting choked by Tazz.

What is ECW going to do when they run out of clips of One Night Stand to fill time?

(2) Kurt Angle vs. Justin Credible. JC had barely gotten into the ring when Angle took him down and put him in a cross face. It went downhill for Credible from there and Angle submitted him with a rear choke.

Angle warned Randy Orton that he'd make him tap out at Vengeance.

Heyman said everything he'd planned was out the window. (Could that have been a Freudian slip?)  He now had an extreme battle royal in mind and the winner would face John Cena at Vengeance. Heyman wanted to take the fight to Monday Night Raw.

Kelly the stripper was back to "show her assets."

(Commercial break)

Outside the building the camera zoomed in on one of The Zombie's friends, The Vampire.

Kelly came out to some sleazy strip club music and stripped. Artlessly. She couldn't even get her bra unfastened.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but is this not a wrestling show?

They've spent most of this show promoting Raw, and the last five minutes on a cheesy strip club act which made no sense whatsoever.

(3) Extreme Battle Royal: Tommy Dreamer vs. Sabu (who was late for his entrance) vs. Al Snow (w/Head) vs. Stevie Richards vs. Little Guido, Tony Mamaluke and Big Guido (the FBI) vs. Balls Mahoney vs. Big Show.

(There was a commercial break during the entrances.)

The bell rang and Big Show threw everybody out of the ring, including Road Kill, who'd apparently been introduced during the commercial along with Danny Doring. So much for a battle royal.

(Commercial break)

But wait...

Back from commercial and everybody was back in the ring. No one had gone out OVER the top rope, so Big Show hadn't won after all. How many people do you suppose tuned out during the commercial thinking Show had won?

Big Show started throwing people out again only this time over the top rope. Sabu set up a table on the outside, and the plunder was in play. Show put Dreamer through the table. Big Guido and Sabu managed to get Big Show over the top rope, and then Sabu dumped Big Guido over the side and won the battle royal.

"Paul Heyman is bringing all of ECW to Raw Monday night," Joey reminded viewers as the show mercifully went off the air.

You've been warned.


This show gets a "D" for disappointing.

A couple of weeks ago I wrote about Vince McMahon wanting ECW to serve too many masters. That seems to be what happened with tonight's show. The SciFi audience was served with some pointless Halloweeny characters. The WWE contingent was served with an ongoing commercial for Raw and Raw's superstars. The horny teenage demographic was served with an endless striptease.

So where does that leave ECW? Out in the cold from the looks of it. I can't imagine why any one tuning in tonight would want to come back next week.

I wanted this show to be good.  I really did.  I wasn't expecting perfection.  I'd  have settled for a few moments of nostalgia, a warm fuzzy, and some good new matches.  Instead, I've had to hit the bottle of migraine pills just to get through the rest of this review.

Ya know...sometimes things are better off remaining fond memories and staying dead.


Comments or feedback? I'd love to hear from you. Mallory@WorldWrestlingInsanity.com

blog comments powered by Disqus

JG col

My Son Lucas
JG's Facebook Insanity: Let's Infuriate Your Friends
(33 Minutes) James Guttman's Free 2009 Interview With Mr. Fuji
JG's 10/19/15 Raw Insanity: Hell of a Sell
JG's 10/5/15 Raw Insanity: Flashing The Brock Signal
JG's Insanity: The 12th Annual WWE Memorial Day Barbecue
JG's Insanity: The 11th Annual WWE Memorial Day Barbecue
JG's Ten Facebook Posts To Annoy Your Friends
JG's Ten Beloved TV Characters Who Were Obvious Psychopaths
JG's 10 More Fun Ways To Infuriate People Online
JG's Ten Insider Wrestling Terms You Shouldn't Use When Talking About Something Besides Wrestling
JG's Insanity: The 10th Annual WWE Memorial Day Barbecue
JG's Ten Demented Ways We Misused Our Toys
JG's 15 Fun Ways To Infuriate People Online
JG's Ten Sesame Street Muppets That Are Missing And Presumed Dead
JG's Scene From WWE Raw (After Vince McMahon Goes Senile)
JG's Ten Signs You Were A Wrestling Fan Of The 1980s
JG's Insanity: Stone Cold's Greatest Moments (Without Stone Cold)
JG's Ten Wrestling Moves That Really Hurt When You Try Them At Home
JG's Insanity: Everybody Is Tito Santana
JG's Ten Reasons Why WWF LJN Figures Were The Greatest Toys Ever
JG's Ten Judges Who Would Make American Idol Worth Watching
JG's 2012 in Pictures (As Hulk Hogan Will Remember It)
JG's Quintuple Bypass Surgery Insanity
JG's Five Episodes of Diff'rent Strokes That Scarred Me For Life
JG's Ten Facebook Posts That Are Slowly Driving Me Crazy
JG's Ten Truly Terrible Reality Competition Shows
JG's Ten 1980s TV Characters Who Taught Me To Hate
JG's Ten Wrestling Characters Who Went Through Massive Personality Changes
JG's Ten Old School Wrestlers Who Would Terrorize Today's PG WWE

The Challenge: Vendettas - Episode 2
The ROHbot Report: Nashville TV Taping Preview, New ROH Title Belts, And More
TGIF: He's Next For The Hall of Fame, Raw 25, and More
The Challenge: Champs vs. Stars - Finale
The Challenge: Vendettas - Episode 1
TGIF: Fact Checkarooni, Trump Bans Sid, and More
The Challenge: Champs vs. Stars - Episode 7
The Challenge: Champs vs. Stars - Episode 6
The ROHbot Report: Ring of Honor Year-End Awards and More
TGIF: Asuka Rumble, Okada-Omega Marathon, and More
The Challenge: Champs vs. Stars - Episode 5
The ROHbot Report: Final Battle Taping Results, War of the Worlds Toronto, And More
TGIF: Rousey Rumble, XFL Reborn, and More
The ROHbot Report: Final Battle 2017 Review And More
TGIF: Swann Song, Jericho Draws First Blood, and More
The Challenge: Champs vs. Stars - Episode 4
The ROHbot Report: Final Battle 2017 Preview and More
TGIF: Nia Finds Amore, Rob Van Done, and More
The Challenge: Champs vs. Stars - Episode 3
Could Anthony Joshua make it in the WWE?
TGIF: Breaking Matt, 10,000 Sweet, and More
The Challenge: Champs vs. Stars - Episode 2
The ROHbot Report: Survival of the Fittest Results, ROH Unauthorized, And More
TGIF: Paige Interrupts A Four-Way, Arrow Club, and More
The Challenge: Champs vs. Stars - Episode 1
The Challenge Dirty 30 - Reunion: Part 2
The ROHbot Report: Stephen "Arrow" Amell Wrestles, Florida Tapings, And More
TGIF: No Styles-Nakamura In A Cage, Impact's Passing Storm, and More
The Challenge Dirty 30 - Reunion: Part 1
The Luckiest Wrestlers of All Time


JG's 8/28/07 EXTREME Insanity: Kelly Hates Miz Because She Likes Balls
Aug 28, 2016
Feb 16, 2010
Retro-Repost: 6/13/06 ECW Debut on SciFi: Mallory's Real Time Coverage
Feb 16, 2010
RDLee's ECW Report - The Countdown To ECW's Departure Is On
Feb 9, 2010
Jana Bulloch's ECW Report: Mr. McMahon Addresses "The Future of ECW"
Feb 2, 2010
RDLee's ECW Report - Ezekial Jackson Teams With William Regal To Take On ECW Champion Christian And..... Kane?
Jan 26, 2010
RDLee's ECW Report - Can William Regal Finally Get A Win Over The ECW Champion Christian?
Jan 19, 2010
RDLee's ECW Report - The ECW Homecoming Finale Concludes With A Over The Top Battle Royal
Jan 12, 2010
RDLee's ECW Report - The Former "Straight Edge" Champion Takes On The Former "World's Strongest" Champion In The ECW Homecoming Tournament
Jan 5, 2010
RDLee's ECW Report - Tommy Dreamer Says Goodbye To The ECW and WWE Universe
Dec 29, 2009
RDLee's ECW Report - The ECW Homecoming Round 2 Including Tommy Dreamer's Possible Final ECW Appearance?
Dec 22, 2009
RDLee's ECW Report - The ECW Homecoming Featuring The Return Of The Former ECW Champion Kane
Dec 15, 2009
RDLee's ECW Report - Christian, Shelton Benjamin & Yoshi Tatsu take on The Ruthless Roundtable In 6 Man Tag Team Action
Dec 8, 2009
RDLee's ECW Report - Can Ezekiel Jackson Co-Exsist With Vladimir Kozlov In The Main Event When They Face Christian & Shelton Benjamin?
Dec 1, 2009
RDLee's ECW Report - Who Will ECW Champion Christian Defend His Title Against In The Match He Made Famous At TLC?
Nov 24, 2009
RDLee's ECW Report - Will Paul Birchill Be Out Of A Job Or Will The Hurricane Unmask? Plus Find Out Which Former ECW Star Is A Big Fan Of RDLee!
Nov 17, 2009
RDLee's ECW Report - Can "Bill" Regal Finally Win The ECW Championship In Front Of His Home Crowd?
Nov 10, 2009
RDLee's ECW Report - A Former TNA Tag Team Champion Debuts On Tonight's Show
Nov 3, 2009
RDLee's ECW Report - Chris Jericho Stops By The Land Of Extreme To Scout For Team Smackdown
Oct 20, 2009
RDLee's ECW Report - Yoshi Tatsu Teams With ECW Champion Christian To Take On Zack Ryder And Bill Regal
Oct 13, 2009

Even More From This Category >>
ClubWWI.com Contact Us Forums
All content contained here Copyright - We Want Insanity Dot Com