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JG's Facebook Insanity: Let's Infuriate Your Friends

By James Guttman Aug 31, 2016 - 8:55 AM print


You have a lot of Facebook friends. Want less? Keeping with my rich tradition of finding evil ways for you to annoy your social media friends, I present an all-new (and quite easy) path to online solitude. Hey...it’s their own fault for accepting your request. Suckers.


Incorrectly correct people’s spelling:

grayte.jpg


Ask this:

hoto.jpg


Pick one friend at random and wish him a “Happy Birthday!!” every single day of the year. Then, on his real birthday, unfriend him.


Express the inappropriate emotional response to serious posts:

toughts_prayers.jpg


Make EVERYTHING a competition:

competition.jpg


Ask people to poke you. When they do, call them perverts publically.


Post pictures of porn stars and tag people in them.

nina_hartley.jpg


Purposely misunderstand their points:

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Do this multiple times a day. Try to tag as many people as possible.

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Inappropriately reminisce on sympathy posts:

grandpa_heaven.jpg


Follow up with your own grief-stricken pleas:

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Change your profile picture to a cartoon character with an “=” sign in red across it. Challenge everyone to take the ice bucket challenge. Say that 19% of your friends will do it.


And finally…

hooker.jpg



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