We Want Insanity
My Son Lucas
Facebook
Twitter
JG's 7/21/08 Raw Insanity: John Cena Accidentally Punches Batista On Purpose
TGIF: A New Day For Hulk, MLW's Major League Potential, and More
The ROHbot Report: Nashville Return, Top Contenders 6-Man Gauntlet, And More
(32 Mins) Honor Nation: Forgiving Hogan


Rebooking The Royal Rumble: An Illustrated Look At What Should Have Been

By Jessie Brazil Feb 2, 2014 - 9:59 AM print


Sometimes, situations that demand an immediate reaction present themselves.  The 2014 Royal Rumble was one of those moments, for several reasons.

The most glaring of which was the omission of Daniel Bryan from the rumble match, one he was not advertised for.  Despite that, as the numbers inched closer and closer to 30, the yes chants grew louder and the anticipation higher for a wrestler that would ultimately not appear.  

And when he didn't, the fine people of Pittsburgh were not pleased.

What struck me was not the boo's, or the no chants, but the deafening silence.  When the final 4 was in the ring, CM Punk, Batista, Sheamus, and Romain Reigns, that is the Rumble curtain call.  The applause and acknowledgement that "One of these people is going to headline Wrestlemania!!'

Instead...silence.  

My best guess is that at some point someone who didn't know better started a yes chant. They didn't know that Bryan wasn't in the match.  Then others who knew he wasn't going to be in, but were disappointed in the rumble so far joined in.  Then eventually people like myself, who knew Bryan wasn't going to be in the match, but thought "THAT WOULD BE AWESOME IF HE WAS" joined in.  Then poor Mysterio came out and you know the rest.

So how could we have fixed it? Is it possible to get the best of both worlds? A proper ending to the Rumble, or at least a better one? YES!!! YES!!! YES!!!

A quick refresher of the rules...

- I can't change the outcome.  (SPOILERS) Batista is still going to win the Rumble y'all.  
- I can't use resources that are otherwise unavailable.  Sting cannot be entrant #30, eliminating Jake Roberts who had just hit a DDT on the Ultimate Warrior.
- I can't actively change what I assume WWE's long terms plans are.  Batista is probably going to win the title at Wrestlemania because he's got a huge movie coming out.  I can't have Brock Lesnar coming out and breaking Batista's femur into 20,000 pieces.  

What this match needs to accomplish

1) Don't be a shitty Royal Rumble.  One of the reasons there were boos at the end is because this had largely paint by numbers match.  A big reason fans started clamoring for Bryan is because they really just wanted something interesting to happen.  This relates directly to...

2) Do something with CM Punk in the #1 spot.  If you come in first, eliminate a couple of guys, and spend the next 50 minutes floating around the match and having one spot with El Torito, people are going to be upset. 

3) Make Romain Reigns a boss, but remember he's a heel.

4) Try not to get Batista booed out of the building.  Just a thought.  

Because of the nature of this match we are not going to go elimination by elimination, but rather touch on important parts and themes to play out throughout the match.  

CM Punk and Rollins start off the 2014 Royal Rumble!!!







CM Punk's place in this match is 'the guy you don't try to eliminate.'  Sandow takes a run, and Punk eliminates him.  
That is the reoccurring theme with Punk in this match.  Whenever someone tries to take a 1 - 1 stab at him, they get eliminated, because he's the 'BEST IN THE WORLD'.  Maybe the announcers can play on this and it will explain why people are leaving him alone and he's kinda coasting through.  It also makes it more interesting when El Torito gets his hands on him.


 


Why is The Great Khali still in these matches? Let's take him out.  We need his spot.  




Look Daniel Bryan has to be in the Rumble in some capacity.  Putting him in the Rumble isn't going to change your long term plans, as we will see, but he's got to participate.  Not just because the fans demanded it, but because he's really good and will make the match better.  

I have no idea where WWE is going with this whole Bryant thing, and they probably don't either, so this Rumble can end in one of two ways.

1)They decide, "F' it", and put him in the jetpack to see what happens.  

2)They decide not to but also don't want the Royal Rumble going off the air with 15,000 pissed people booing your future world champ out of the building.

Rocketship Bryan scenario.  Sheamus comes out at #29.  The Yes-anticipation builds, and out #30 comes...




Perfect.  Every time I hear this in my head it makes me so happy.  Center all that heat on Barrett.  Don't put it on Ray Mysterio.  Also let Batista eliminate Barrett.  Throw the guy some cheers. 

Now here's the part where things get complicated... (IT'S A BIT LATE FOR THAT)

AND HERE COMES BRYAN! "But he's not in the Rumble!" complains Cole or JBL or someone trying to be a spoilsport.  Doesn't matter, Bryan is in, kicking ass in Bryan ways, and wins it.  The next night on Raw, the Authority declares his win invalid, Bryan comes out with a shaved head and wearing a leather vest as The Rocky Chill, Daniel Bryan!




The non-rocket ship Bryan scenario is a little more interesting.  Bryan comes out after El Torito and starts to clean house, but the Shield and Co. do a good job keeping him under wraps.  Sheamus is your 'kinda surprise' entrant at #30.

At some point Bryan and Punk square off.  Remember Punk has eliminated everyone who has come after him one on one, so the crowd is hyped for this confrontation... 

...but then Kane eliminates Punk and chokeslams him through the Spanish announce table.  

Our FINAL FOUR is Bryan, Batista, Sheamus, and Reigns.  

Sheamus is eliminated going after Batista.

Bryan starts to 'Bryan up', or whatever we're calling it, but makes a mistake and goes for the headbutt off the top on Batista.  Out of nowhere, Reigns hits Bryan with the superman punch and eliminates him.

Now this part is important.  He has to taunt Bryan.  




One of the reasons the Rumble had such a flat ending is that you have Reigns, who has broken Kane's record for eliminations in a Rumble and made ZERO mistakes ALL NIGHT, getting innocently, almost accidentally when you think about it, dumped out by Batista.  It didn't make sense.

But if Reigns loses his focus, allows his ego to get in the way, for just a second, long enough for Batista to capitalize, well then that makes sense doesn't it? Wouldn't it be easy to sell a young super talented person losing his focus long enough for the veteran all-be-it returning movie star to take advantage?  

Reigns has taken the heat for eliminating Bryan, and Batista is the hero for eliminating Reigns.  

And sure, maybe people are still chanting 'yes' and 'Daniel Bryan' at the end of the match, but maybe Batista isn't getting booed out of the sport.





blog comments powered by Disqus

JG col

My Son Lucas
JG's Facebook Insanity: Let's Infuriate Your Friends
(33 Minutes) James Guttman's Free 2009 Interview With Mr. Fuji
JG's 10/19/15 Raw Insanity: Hell of a Sell
JG's 10/5/15 Raw Insanity: Flashing The Brock Signal
JG's Insanity: The 12th Annual WWE Memorial Day Barbecue
JG's Insanity: The 11th Annual WWE Memorial Day Barbecue
JG's Ten Facebook Posts To Annoy Your Friends
JG's Ten Beloved TV Characters Who Were Obvious Psychopaths
JG's 10 More Fun Ways To Infuriate People Online
JG's Ten Insider Wrestling Terms You Shouldn't Use When Talking About Something Besides Wrestling
JG's Insanity: The 10th Annual WWE Memorial Day Barbecue
JG's Ten Demented Ways We Misused Our Toys
JG's 15 Fun Ways To Infuriate People Online
JG's Ten Sesame Street Muppets That Are Missing And Presumed Dead
JG's Scene From WWE Raw (After Vince McMahon Goes Senile)
JG's Ten Signs You Were A Wrestling Fan Of The 1980s
JG's Insanity: Stone Cold's Greatest Moments (Without Stone Cold)
JG's Ten Wrestling Moves That Really Hurt When You Try Them At Home
JG's Insanity: Everybody Is Tito Santana
JG's Ten Reasons Why WWF LJN Figures Were The Greatest Toys Ever
JG's Ten Judges Who Would Make American Idol Worth Watching
JG's 2012 in Pictures (As Hulk Hogan Will Remember It)
JG's Quintuple Bypass Surgery Insanity
JG's Five Episodes of Diff'rent Strokes That Scarred Me For Life
JG's Ten Facebook Posts That Are Slowly Driving Me Crazy
JG's Ten Truly Terrible Reality Competition Shows
JG's Ten 1980s TV Characters Who Taught Me To Hate
JG's Ten Wrestling Characters Who Went Through Massive Personality Changes
JG's Ten Old School Wrestlers Who Would Terrorize Today's PG WWE

The Challenge: Final Reckoning - Episode 2
TGIF: A New Day For Hulk, MLW's Major League Potential, and More
The ROHbot Report: Nashville Return, Top Contenders 6-Man Gauntlet, And More
The Challenge: Final Reckoning - Episode 1
TGIF: Japanese Garden Party of Honor, Rib JR's Rib, and More
The ROHbot Report: Bully-Burger Steal the Show, NWA Title in ROH, And More
Anime Verdict: Street Fighter 2 The Animated Movie
TGIF: Hug Therapy, Down Goes Dalton, and More
The ROHbot Report: Best in the World Review, Fairfax TV Tapings, And More
TGIF: Dog Bites Artist, All Them, and More
The Challenge: Champs vs. Stars 3 - Finale & Reunion
The ROHbot Report: Best in the World '18, TV Classic Main Event, And More
TGIF: Cass'd Away, DIY Does It Again, and More
The ROHbot Report: State of the Art Reviews, ROH International Cup, And More
The Challenge: Champs vs. Stars 3 - Episode 9
TGIF: The Greatest Professional Wrestling Match Of All Time
The ROHbot Report: San Antonio/Dallas Previews, Bullies Dominate, and More
The Challenge: Champs vs. Stars 3 - Episode 8
TGIF: CM Punk Gets One More WWE Victory, Constable Corbin, and More
The ROHbot Report: Austin Aries Goes For The Gold, NY TV Results, And More
Solo: A Star Wars Story Review
TGIF: You Can't Teach Rap, NBC's World Wrestling Embarrassed, and More
The Challenge: Champs vs. Stars 3 - Episode 7
The ROHbot Report: UK Tour Reviews, TV Recap, And More
The Challenge: Champs vs. Stars - Episode 6
TGIF:The Lashley Girls Kill RAW, Merging Impact, and More
The ROHbot Report: Honor United Previews, ROH TV Episode 348, And More
The Challenge: Champs vs. Stars 3 - Episode 5
TGIF: Nia Gets Rowdy, All In All Sold Out, and More
The Challenge: Champs vs. Stars 3 - Episode 4


-

Solo: A Star Wars Story Review
Jun 3, 2018
The Review - Avengers: Infinity War
May 1, 2018
A Quiet Place: Hardly Horror
Apr 14, 2018
Halloween 2018: What To Expect
Mar 27, 2018
Star Wars Rebels: A Review
Mar 6, 2018
Black Panther: A Review
Feb 22, 2018
Star Wars The Last Jedi: Moving On
Feb 15, 2018
Could Anthony Joshua make it in the WWE?
Dec 4, 2017
Boxers in McMahon’s Crosshairs for 2018
Sep 28, 2017
WWE & WCW – Four Historical Defectors Rated
Aug 30, 2017
What Is Fantasy Slam Pro Wrestling Fantasy Camp?
Jun 27, 2017
(Free 40 Min Audio) Less Than 30: Gotham!
Aug 13, 2014
Meet Stevie Richards and Support a Great Cause: Happy Meower Fundraiser for BARCS
Apr 13, 2014
Rebooking The Royal Rumble: An Illustrated Look At What Should Have Been
Feb 2, 2014
The Elite Eight: WWE's NXT Big Things
Jan 15, 2014
Why Roman Reigns Should Break Undertaker's WrestleMania Streak (and Why He Shouldn't)
Dec 26, 2013
(Free 165 Minute Audio) VSN Arcade Podcast: Games of the Generation Continued
Nov 21, 2013
(Free 135 Minute Audio) VSN Arcade Podcast: Games of the Generation - Segment 2
Nov 5, 2013
(Free 135 Minute Audio) VSN Arcade Podcast: Games of the Generation - Segment 1
Oct 28, 2013
(Free 100 Minute Audio) VSN Arcade Podcast: Dragon's Crown and Guilty Pleasures
Aug 11, 2013

Even More From This Category >>
ClubWWI.com Contact Us Forums
All content contained here Copyright - We Want Insanity Dot Com