NXT 3 - Named themselves after an old cop show.
The Shield - Beat up Kane, Daniel Bryan & Ryback.
CM Punk - Watched three men beat up Kane, Dnaiel Bryan & Ryback.
John Cena - Left smarks wondering "Who's he gonna face at the PPV if he's beaten Ziggler now?"
AJ Lee - Macked on John Cena, little realising she was being sharing Cena spit with Nikki Bella as well.
Big Show - Showed a chair what happens when chairs speak ill of his woman.
Corey Letson - Showed up for work.
Tonight On RAW
WELL, REALLY, THE SAME PEOPLE YOU SEE EVERY WEEK!
Yeah, that's right, it's me, Aaron Wood, stepping in for Corey Letson. Something came up for him. So he says anyway. I think he's just rocking back and forth, quietly sobbing about how much his WWI Fantasy NFL League team sucks this season and how he won't three-peat. So while he does that, let's sit through another 2 hours of RAW and then extra hour of drudgery, as these three hour shows have been...
Also, since my Smackdown videos until the end of the month are my 2012 iTunes countdown, I'll be thowing in a few Xmas songs into the mix here, including the new track by The Killers, their 7th Xmas song in 7 years.
Our opening video starts with the fact that with Show & Sheamus killing each other and Cena & Ziggler having beef, they collided on Smackdown on Friday. So it's a main event tag match tonight. Show & Ziggler (Can we call them the Show Offs?) vs. Cena & Sheamus. Also, As I noted above, The Shiled beat up a bunch of folks.
We cold open to Kane & Daniel Bryan coming out. If you missed Smackdown. last week's whooping by The Shield has actually totally brought them together. And we're starting with a match. When Kane blows his pyro, we see The Shield are watching from the top of the stands.Kane gets on the mic and says they think their tough and claim to fight against injustice. So come and get something to fight about! The Shield decide to stand there.
Hell No vs. The Prime Time Players The PTP have a remixed theme. Cole talks about the RUMOURS of Vince McMahon being in Greensboro tonight. Kane & Titus start off and while O'Neil gets Kane into his corner, Kane fights back big and clotheslines Titus out of the ring. We take another look at the Shield and suddenly, it's just Dean Ambrose. I'm guessing Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins really need a hotdog already. Young tags in, but things don't go well for him. Cole tries to explain the "injustice" prompting The Shield's attack on Kane. They then claim that Kane has wrestled the most matches EVER in WWE, with this one being his 899th.
We see Roman Reigns half way down the stairs across the arena. Kane misses an elbow drop, allowing Young to get some offence in the corner. They take control of things as the crowd gets rowdy as it seems like The Shield are on the move again. And indeed, Ambrose and Reigns are moving down the steps. No sign of Rollins ANYWHERE however as we go to the break. He's either fired already or that hotdog line is LONG...
We're back and so is the match as Titus is working over Kane in the ring. Roman Reigns and Dean Ambrose have moved to the floor. Seth Rollins is still missing. So I guess he's on the hard camera side and that side is half empty...
Bryan gets a tag and goes to work on O'Neil, hitting the running dropkick in the corner for a 2 count. And The Shield continue to creep forward. Bryan flips out a back suplex and looks for the No Lock, but Titus breaks it up. Riegns and Ambrose are at the guardrail in the corners. As Hell No look the other way, Young rolls up Bryan, but he reverses for the three count.
WINNERS: Hell No
Ambrose and Reigns attack Kane at ringside trapping his arm between the steps and ringpost, with Ambrose kicking the steps. Meanwhile, Rollins comes in the other side and gets Bryan before all three hit the powerbomb on Bryan. The crowd wants Ryback. The crowd doesn't get Ryback. The Shield leave via the timekeeper's position. We see Hell No trying to recover in the ring.
We cut backstage to see Cena & Sheamus. They're spraffing some nonsense before Sheamus thanks Cena for Friday. Cena says it was a win/win for him. Sheamus then gets over excited about win/win situation, in doing so making reference to classic sitcom Father Ted. AWESOMENESS!!!! Anyway, they're more than on the same page tonight.
AJ Is in the ring next.
The Killers - "I Feel It In My Bones"
AJ Lee vs. Tamina Snuka
Tamina is in the ring as we come back and AJ skips out to the ring. As you'd expect, Tamina is too strong for AJ early on, althought AJ blocks a charge. However, she's yanked off the top turnbuckle by the arm. Snuka beats her down before putting her on the top turnbuckle to get her in position for an over-the-shoulder backbreaker submission. AJ fires back with some shots, but takes a back elbow to halt the momentum.
AJ is whipped hard into the corner a couple of times, back-frist before a headbutt, much like her father's. She drags AJ by the hair to set up the Superfly Splash, but as Snuka took her eye off the ball, AJ suddenly rolled Tamina up for the three count!
WINNER: AJ Lee
Cole & Lawler talked about Ryback and his frame of mind. Apparently no-one has seen or heard from him since last week. However, it's time to demark day 379 of CM Punk's reign as the champion comes out. He'll speak once you are shilled some consumables.
Paul Heyman opens with the chatter as he says he was leaving home this morning and he saw his kids were reading the new version of the WWE Encyclopedia. But he's not shilling the book (despite holding it so we all saw it) because there's just not enough CM Punk in it. But to tbe fair, there was something in the book that they were too busy to notice. This being being Day 379, as of tomorrow he will equal and then Wednesday, he would surpass John Cena's reign and be the longest reigning of the Modern Era. The longest in 25 years. So we HAVE TO agree with Heyman that Punk is not only the champion, Best In The World but also front and center of WWE's Mount Rushmore.
Punk says he yet still unfairly persecuted. He's proven for a year he's the best. That's not just a slogan for a shirt, it's a FACT. His face would go above, well, everyone's on that Mount Rushmore. But the fans are so classess, he doesn't get the respect he deserves. At Hell IN A Cell he beat Ryback. At Survivor Series he beat Cena & Ryback. So how in the hell is he forced into this TLC match against Ryback?!?! Because of the fans. All those who turned their back on him and turn a blind eye to his accomplishments. People don't hold jobs for a year. Marriages fail in a year. But people will look for ANY excuse as to why Punk keeps winning. Heyman...Brad Mad-ox...now The Shield.
If it wasn't for them, he wouldn't be Champion...A LIE! The truth is that if it wasn't for Punk, they wouldn't be here this eve. Punk is the reason we tune in every Monday. HAS HE NOT SEEN THE RATINGS?!?! He was sick of repeating himself, so he was repeating himself one more time. He had nothing to do with The Shield or Maddox and we're the ones in denial. So go ahead. Change the channel and/or walk out.
Someone walk in, but oddly, it's The Miz. Really? Gonna tell these people to leave? Really? Sit yourselves down. Now Punk, no-one believes you. We all know the truth. Punk asks who Miz thinks he is. Miz cheated, scammed and took every shortcut while he was champion, but he has the guts to admit it. Everyone knows Maddox was in Punk's pocket and The Shield bailed him out at Survivor Series and indeed last week on RAW. Punk offers Miz out for fisticuffs. Miz says that proving PUnk's credibility was indeed why he came out. But he wanted Punk to appear on MizTV to take a lie detector test.
Heyman was agog at the notion of this. Does Miz really want Punk three inches away from Miz with a live mic, given how Punk feels about Punk BEHIND THE SCENES?!?! Miz says That's exactly what he wants. He calls Heyman a Walrus, which draws a chant. Miz tells Punk to bring his best Pipebomb. He's giving Punk EXACTLY what he wants. The chance to clear his name and prove he's the best in the world. Unless you're scared of the truth and would like an asterisk on his record? Punk snaps and tells Miz he's on and will prove that he is what he says he is. I assume this is for later on in the show.
That main event tag match? It is main eventing. Main eventing the first hour.
Julian Casablancas - "I Wish It Was Christmas Today"
John Cena & Sheamus vs. Dolph Ziggler & Big Show
Cena & Sheamus came out first. Oddly, there was a girl in a Cena shirt was looked like she was losing her shit at Sheamus coming out. Sheamus and Dolph start off as Cole notes that Ziggler is teaming with the guy he could cash in his briefcase on. Ziggler hits a dropkick on Sheamus, but Sheamus comes back with a back elbow before tagging in Cena. For a guy with a bum knee, Cena did a leafrog and armdrag spot, putting on an armbar before Ziggler got out and tagged in Big Show. They locked up, but Big SHow shoved him down. So Cena stick and moved, although a shoulder tackle didn't work. Show with the big chop in the corner. He takes him into another corner and works him over before another chop. A third in his own corner is avoided, but the AA doesn't come off, with Show squashing Cena for 2. Ziggler tags in and hit a bunch of elbow drops followed by his big leaping one.
A Stinger Splash missed, making for tags to both sides and Sheamus Show collided. Sheamus wailed on Show in the corner, before hitting a knee lift and flying forearm to knock Show down. We went up, but leapt into a spear. Everyone was pretty much down as we took a break.
Sheamus is in trouble as we come back as Big Show is beating him down. Sheamus tries a few shots but Big Show gives him an approximation of a superkick before tagging in Mr. Ziggles. Ziggler with a bodyscissors and chinlock, but Sheamus gets out pretty easy. Ziggler runs in but takes The Irish Curse.
Cena gets a tag and looks for the AA, but Show kicks him. Sheamus comes in, but while the Brogue Kick is blocked, Sheamus hooks Show for White Noise. Cena and Sheamus deliver a simultaneous AA & White Noise with Cena getting the pin as the legal man.
WINNERS: John Cena & Sheamus
Cole & Lawler talk about the first hour of the show as Cena wanders behind them hand-slapping fans. We see a clip of CM Punk and Miz in setting up the MizTV segment later on. Why do I suspect The Shield murders Miz tonight? That said, it would set up The Shield vs. Hell No & Miz at the PPV. Make make for the tables match...
The Killers - "The Cowboy's Christmas Ball"
Damien Sandow makes his way out to introduce his "I'm looking for an apprentice" idea to RAW. Hell, I'm sure his promo in doing so is 98% word for word the promo he cut on Smackdown. A couple of plants do a comedy bit where someone thinks he's picked but Sandow meant the guy beside him.
And so, if you missed Smackdown, it's three questions. First up, it's what is H2O. Water, obviously. Secondly, who was the first president. George Washington, obvs. The third question, what famed English poet wrote "Much have I travelled in the land of gold". Which was Keats. I should totally get the job. That's six of six for me in questions.
Well, since he beat Zack Ryder las week, it looks like the other member of Team Retard is going to have a go as Santino Marella comes out. Marella wants to ask Sandow a question. How many sea shells does she sell by the sea shore? Santino can barely get the question out because he's an idiot. Santino then telegraphs that he's going to hit Sandow with the microphone by say "conch" as "conk". But Sandow gets the drop on him. You know, because Marella told him what he was going to do. Match after the break.
Damien Sandow vs. Santino Marella
The match is underway as we come back as Santino does a power walk. Lawler claims Marella won a competition in 1995 and thus why he does that. But Sandow quickly hits the knees, Side Russian Legsweep and Cubito Aequet, but that just picks up a 2 count. Marella cradles Sandow after blocking a suplex for a 2 count. Santino makes his regular comeback and sets up the Cobra, but Sandow starts a foot race, getting the drop of Marella coming back in. Sandow gets the sock but Marella hangs Damien on the top rope. The top rope headbutt misses however and The Terminus, well, ends it.
WINNER: Damien Sandow
You can try and stump Sandow via Tout.
Ziggler is making excuses to Vickie Guerrero in the back, saying Big Show only cares about himself. Vickie's beginning to lose faith, but Ziggler says he can beat Cena and look good doing it. He wants Cena at TLC. She gives him the match. He goes to hug her, but she stops him, lest they be accused of anything. Dolph can see through the office glass door that someone is awaiting her. That someone? Brad Maddox. He's there to make sure noone forgets his name. No-one actually remembers it, given that everyone keep mispronouncing it as Mad-Ox...
The Streets (Feat. Rob Harvey) - "Scrooge & Marley - I Don't Want It To Be Me"
We come back to see Vickie asking why she should give Maddox a contract, especially after Hell In A Cell. Maddox says Vickie's legacy as the most powerful woman in WWE history is assured. A legacy earned with her eye for talent. He's Mr. Entertainment. Brad has to earn his WWE contract. He'll find out who he's facing when he gets there. But it will be "GREAT" TV ***wink wink***. An oblivious Maddox walks away. She would have been as quick telling him that in Indian...
Sin Cara vs. Alberto Del Rio
I assume they need to give Del Rio a win again. Seriously, can Del Rio lose to a top talent and then NOT beat Sin Cara afterwards? Del rio take contorl with shoulders to the gut in the corner, followed by a kick for a 2 count. Sin Cara comes back with a leg whip and armdrag. Kicks to the shoulder by Sin Cara before hitting one to the head for 2, but Cara was dropped into the corner. Snap suplex by Alberto picked up a 2 count. Chinlock by Del Rio.
Holy crap. I've just realised there no special lighting for this Sin Cara singles match!
Del Rio misses a charge in the middle of the ropes, slipping out the ring, where Sin Cara kicked him then gave him a headscissors sending him into the guardrail. We're taking a break here.
We're back and Sin Cara is working a hold and in control. After giving Del Rio a West Coast Pop for a 2 count, Del Rio slipped out, but after rolling Del Rio have in and about to springboard, Alberto shoved him back down. Del Rio launched Sin Cara into the guardrail before rolling Cara back in. Del Rio went to work on Sin Cara's back, before ripping at the face, once again almost taking off Sin Cara's mask. Why does Del Rio, of all people, constantly almost accidentally mamage to take it off? Sin Cara got out and despite being sent into the corner, he hit a tornado DDT. Sin Cara built momentum, hitting the kick to the head from the apron and then a crossbody off the top rope. Sin Cara hit the Asai DDT and went up for the Swanton, but that was avoided. La Mistica was blocked and Del Rio locked on the Cross Armbreaker for the win.
WINNER: Alberto Del Rio
Vinny Mac is walking backstage. And he wants to talk to Vickie. In the ring. Now. Well, after an ad break and entrances. Let's call it soonish...
The Pogues (Feat. Kirsty McColl) - "Fairytale Of New York"
As it goes, while Vince is the one who called Vickie to the ring, it's Vickie who came out first, as she introduced Vince. And never mind Marella. THAT is a power walk. Vickie tells people to clap Vince before immediately attempting to suck up to him. About the TLC PPV and the match she was making, Vickie. She announces Cena vs. Ziggler. Vince tells her to add a stipulation. So it's a No DQ match! Vince wants her to try harder. The clue is in the PPV's title. He whispers that he wants a ladder match. She shouts it out and he likes the idea. Vickie points out Cena & Dolph have no titles. There had to be something to reach for. Vince didn't think of that. How to get out of that booking corner. Is there a briefcase they could use? A Money In The Bank case?
Vickie protests that it would be unfair to Dolph. Vince says Vickie's crap about the AJ scandal is unfair to the fans. Making the match official would help make it up to them. She reluctantly spits out the match. Vince goes to leave, but Vickie stops him from leaving. That was a bit of mistake. Vince mentions the lie detector. What if Punk is a liar? What action is goign to be taken? No-one likes a liar Vickster. Vickie says that if Punk is lying, they have to destroy the mastermind, which is Heyman so next week there'd be a match... Heyman vs. Ryback! Vince loves the idea! Vince mockingly asks the crowd to clap it up for Vickie. They shill the WWE App. They mention Brad Maddox told them he was going to win his contract. His match (against Great Khali if you haven't figured it out yet...) is next!
Coldplay - "Christmas Lights"
Maddox comes out first to almost literal silence between no entrance music and little crowd reaction. And then came his opponent...
IT'S A SWERVE!
Brad Maddox vs. RANDY FREAKIN' ORTON
Yep, somehow, they dropped all but Khali's name but delivered Orton. I'm an athiest, but there may be a God. Maddox tries to run, but Orton sends him out instead and then rolls him in to hit the Elevated DDT. Orton wants the RKO and hits it. Barely 30 seconds long.
WINNER: Randy Orton
THE SHIELD ATTACK! Ambrose, Reigns & Rollins attack Orton out of nowhere. Again, the crowd want Ryback, but the trio just keep beating before delivering the powerbomb. So, Shield vs. Hell No & Orton then?
The Lie Detecor is next. With a Heyman vs. Ryback match on the line, you gotta think that Punk is lying about something.
We come back and Vickie is screaming at Charles Robinson and yells that Vince can't know (or think, she might have said) that Vickie had anything to do with The Shield's attacks. Dolph comes in and bitches Guerrero out about being forced to put his MITB case on the line. He leaves and Heyman comes in and we have the world's longest staring competition. Rather than finally make out, Vickie tells Paul he better hope Punk is telling the truth.
The cherry on Vickie's shitstorm is John Cena. Vickie wanted to see him, but he was quite pleased Vickie made the match. He even thanked her. Cena noted he's the only guy to have failed, but he wouldn't fail again. Vickie said she had the PA clean the Diva's locker room and a couple of bow ties with Cena's picture in the middle were found. Cena noted the colours were a bit wrong and badly made. he was fed up with her lies and crap. Cole immediately noted Vince told her off for the AJ Scandal stuff.
Kofi Kingston & R-Truth vs. Antonio Cesaro & Wade Barrett
Kofi is the only one to get an entrance, but Teddy Long came out and said that while it was supposed to be a tag match, since Vickie was otherwise engaged and Vince was looking for ways to spicing things up. So he was changing the match to a Fatal Four Way match. We wget one break to vote for either Kofi or Cesaro's title to be on the line. Results after the break.
I know. Your minds are blown. Teddy Long just BROKE UP A TAG TEAM MATCH!
We're back and it was time for the results...
Kofi Kingston vs. R-Truth vs. Antonio Cesaro vs. Wade Barrett in a Fatal four Way match for the US Title
83%-17% was the vote tally. So Antonio is on the block. The announcers note that Kofi could get both titles. And indeed, Kofi gets a quick roll up on Cesaro for a 2 count after Truth & Wade were sent out. However, Cesaro comes back and takes control of Kofi until he eats the pendulum kick. Wade clotheslines Cesaro out before going to work on Kof, hitting the pumphandle slam for a 2 count. Kofi is whipped off the ropes, but ducks a Wade clothesline and goes through the ropes with a dropkick to Cesaro. Truth & Wade work, and Truth sends Wade out. Truth & Kofi have some friendly fisties before Cesaro and Wade get involved again. The faces clear the ring again before Kofi hits a suicide dive on Wade. Cesaro avoids a plancha by Truth and drives him intot he guardrail. Kingston came off the ring steps into the European Uppercut. Break time.
We come back to see Cesaro grab Kofi by a leg, give him a giant swing by that leg and then stop to lock on a Single Leg Crab. We end up with Truth & Cesaro, but Wade low bridges Truth out. Cesaro & Wade slug it out until Cesaro knocks him down Kofi comes off the top with a crossbody for 2. All four guys hit moves before we end up again with Truth & Wade. Barrett wants a superplex, but Truth knocks him down. Cesaro meets Truth up top, but Kofi pulls Cesaro off and Wade goes for the superplex again. Kofi joins in with the triple stack. Kofi pins Wade, but Cesaro breaks up the pin. That cool fireman's carry slam gets a 2 count.
Truth launches Cesaro into the ropes before taking him out. Kofi flips out a back suplex and hits his signature moves.Trouble In Paradise is called for, but Cesaro pulls him out. Antonio goes for the Neutralizer, but Truth hits the heel kick on Cesaro. Bull Hammer to Truth, but Kofi hits Toruble In Paradise. However, Cesaro breaks up the pin and hits The Neutralizer on Kingston for the win.
WINNER & STILL US CHAMPION: Antonio Cesaro
The announcers review the case against CM Punk, showing how Brad Maddox and The Shield helped CM Punk.
The Killers - "Don't Shoot Me Santa"
Randy Orton vs. Wade Barrett is coming on Friday. Who knows? Another Shield beatdown?
We go back to Vince & Vickie as Vince forces her into making Cena vs. Ziggler in a MITB ladder match. Well, Cena could do with the case if he wants to face Rock come Wrestlemania...
Time for Miz TV and the lie detector. We've forgone the usual set for the lie detector set up. Miz again mentions how Punk denies everything. But tonight we'd get answers, using what every good talk show uses. A lie detector test.
The sullen Punk comes out. You can imageine how many "CM PUnk, you are NOT the father!" jokes are being made on Twitter right now... Punk cuts Miz's explanation off to bitch at hime and the crowd for now cheering him. We manage to see a read out on the TitanTron. The pair banter back and forth as the guy straps Punk in.
They do the "baseline" questions. Miz asks his name, confirms he's been champion for 379 days and then asks if Rey Mysterio shaved his head. Miz asks if in the year he main evented Wrestlemania with Cena, did Punk lose to Orton. Punk said everyone remembers his match because it was good and not Miz's.
Does Punk think he can beat Ryback? Yes is the answer. The reading SPIKES. Punk could be lying. Punk protests that he gave an opinion. Miz outright asks if he worked with Maddox or The Shield to win. Before Punk can answer, The Shield attack Miz and clear the ring of the props so it's safe to lay a whooping on The Miz. Once again, for the third time tonight, there's a powerbomb. Hell No come out for a fight. The Shield get the numbers advantage though. And then finally, Ryback shows up for work. He takes it to all three guys. before Hell No & Ryback pair off with Shield guys. Ryback & Ambrose head out of the arena. Bryan and Rollins soon do the same, and then so do Kane & Reigns.
We're left with Punk in the ring to gloat over The Miz's dead body, kicking him out of the ring and posing in the corner like he had done all the work. However, somehow, Ryback magically reappeared in the ring, hitting him with Shell Shock. Ryback pulled out a chair and a ladder, putting them in the ring. Ladder shot to the gut was followed by chair shots to the back of Punk. Ryback then got himself a table, set it up and powerbombed Punk through it to end the show.