We Want Insanity
My Son Lucas
Facebook
Twitter
The ROHbot Report: Final Battle 2017 Review And More
TGIF: Swann Song, Jericho Draws First Blood, and More
Vote Now For The 2017 Insanity Year End Awards!
(31 Mins) Honor Nation: A Victimized South Park


JG's Insanity: The 12th Annual WWE Memorial Day Barbecue

By James Guttman May 25, 2015 - 8:05 AM print


An Annual Insanity Tradition for Twelve Years! 
Click the following links to check out the past BBQs:

 

Memorial Day 2004 *** *** Memorial Day 2005

== Memorial Day 2006 *** *** Memorial Day 2007 **

Memorial Day 2008 *** *** Memorial Day 2009

Memorial Day 2010 *** *** Memorial Day 2011

Memorial Day 2012 *** *** Memorial Day 2013 

Memorial Day 2014


WWE Memorial Day 2015 BBQ...McMahon Home...


Vince McMahon: So I said, if you want me to name her after the place you conceived her, I'd rather we call her "Backseat of a Buick" than Charlotte.

Triple H: Ha. What did he say?

Vince: He said Woo.

Triple H: Of course he did. Did you ask him for my Melissa Etheridge CDs back?

Vince: Yes, he said...hang on. (turning) What?! What do you want?!

Hideo Itami: Hello Mister McMahon. I...like...your...party.

Vince: Aw. Thank you, Long Duck Dong.

Triple H: No, Vince. That's one of our NXT guys. His name is Hideo Itami.

Vince: Really? That's unusual. My choice, huh? OK. In that case, I choose to call you Tommy.

Blank confused expressions

Itami: Um. Thank you?

Vince: Yes. OK, Tommy. What can I get you to eat? Egg rolls or some shit?

Triple H: No, Vince. That's Chinese.

Vince: (long pause) I thought you said his name was Hideo or... Alright. Whatever. So, what'll it be, Tommy Chinese? Egg roll?

Triple H: (whispering to Itami) Just say yes.

Itami: Yes.

Vince: Here you go.

Vince plops something that clearly isn't an egg roll onto Itami's plate

Itami: This is dead mouse.

Triple H: (whispering) Just say thank you.

Itami: Thank you.

Vince: You're very welcome. (pause) Now eat it.

Stunned Silence

Itami: I don't want to eat it.

Vince: Would it help if I said please?

Itami: I really don't want...

Vince: EAT IT! JUST F**KING EAT IT, TOMMY!

Itami nervously swallows it whole, bursts into tears, and sprints off to throw up.


Vince: Ha ha. I make them cry in every language. Hey, I thought you said that the people from Destination America were coming this year?

Triple H: They were, but then they cancelled.

Vince: Oh, OK. What about Joe? Is he coming today?

Triple H: Samoa Joe?

Vince: No. (Smiles) Joe Mama.

Long pause.

Triple H: You're in a pretty weird mood today.

Vince: (beaming) I mixed my morning oatmeal with Molly and bath salts.

Triple H: Oh so you're...

Vince: Ready to fill my backpack with sand and fly to the moon, bitch! Bee-boop! Ha ha. No, I'm just kidding. I'm crazy. I'm a nut.

Heath Slater walks over nervously.

Heath Slater: Excuse me, Mr. H?

Triple H: What?

Heath: I wanted to ask you about the free WWE Network subscriptions that you gave to the roster. I really appreciate it and everything but, well...

Triple H: Spit it out, Heather.

Heath: It's just that, well, I got 200,000 confirmation emails.

Triple H: Yeah. We signed you up for 200,000 subscriptions. How do you think we got the numbers up?

Heath: Seriously?!

Triple H: Yeah seriously! John Cena gave me the idea. He sells more merch than any of you dilweeds. Know how? He buys half a million of his own shirts every year from Shopzone. Yup. Half - a - million. That's dedication, Heather. Costs him his entire paycheck. That's why he lives in that cardboard box.

Heath: Oh.

Vince: Ah ha ha. What a maneuver. Hey, kid. How'd you like a hot dog?

Heath: Um, sure. Thank you.

Vince: Absolutely. Just help me with this zipper.

Heath: On second thought, I'll pass.

Heath Slater speed walks across the yard


Vince: Tease. (looking across the yard) Hey. Did he just walk over to Jeff Hardy over there?

Triple H: No. That's Finn Balor from NXT.

Vince: We hired another body painting guy? Seriously? Jeez. So, uh, this one is clean, right?

Triple H: Of course. We have a strict wellness...

Vince: Shit. I was going to ask him to score me some more Molly.  

Triple H: Maybe you should chill out with that talk.

Vince: Yeah and maybe you should go do some yoga, DDP.

Triple H: I'm just doing my job. I'm a business ma'am now.

Vince: Business man.

Triple H: I think it's ma'am.

Vince: Pretty sure it's man. I guess that explains why you're wearing a suit outside in 75 degree weather

Triple H: (instantly slumping over) Oh my God. I'm ready to pass out, can you tell?

Vince: Yes. Go grab yourself a bottled water and pour it on your head for old time's sake. Grab me one too. I've gotta down the rest of this oatmeal.





blog comments powered by Disqus

JG col

My Son Lucas
JG's Facebook Insanity: Let's Infuriate Your Friends
(33 Minutes) James Guttman's Free 2009 Interview With Mr. Fuji
JG's 10/19/15 Raw Insanity: Hell of a Sell
JG's 10/5/15 Raw Insanity: Flashing The Brock Signal
JG's Insanity: The 12th Annual WWE Memorial Day Barbecue
JG's Insanity: The 11th Annual WWE Memorial Day Barbecue
JG's Ten Facebook Posts To Annoy Your Friends
JG's Ten Beloved TV Characters Who Were Obvious Psychopaths
JG's 10 More Fun Ways To Infuriate People Online
JG's Ten Insider Wrestling Terms You Shouldn't Use When Talking About Something Besides Wrestling
JG's Insanity: The 10th Annual WWE Memorial Day Barbecue
JG's Ten Demented Ways We Misused Our Toys
JG's 15 Fun Ways To Infuriate People Online
JG's Ten Sesame Street Muppets That Are Missing And Presumed Dead
JG's Scene From WWE Raw (After Vince McMahon Goes Senile)
JG's Ten Signs You Were A Wrestling Fan Of The 1980s
JG's Insanity: Stone Cold's Greatest Moments (Without Stone Cold)
JG's Ten Wrestling Moves That Really Hurt When You Try Them At Home
JG's Insanity: Everybody Is Tito Santana
JG's Ten Reasons Why WWF LJN Figures Were The Greatest Toys Ever
JG's Ten Judges Who Would Make American Idol Worth Watching
JG's 2012 in Pictures (As Hulk Hogan Will Remember It)
JG's Quintuple Bypass Surgery Insanity
JG's Five Episodes of Diff'rent Strokes That Scarred Me For Life
JG's Ten Facebook Posts That Are Slowly Driving Me Crazy
JG's Ten Truly Terrible Reality Competition Shows
JG's Ten 1980s TV Characters Who Taught Me To Hate
JG's Ten Wrestling Characters Who Went Through Massive Personality Changes
JG's Ten Old School Wrestlers Who Would Terrorize Today's PG WWE

The ROHbot Report: Madison Rayne Returns, Simon Gotch Debuts, And Mor
TGIF: Y2NJPW, Jinder Hindered, and More
The Challenge Dirty 30 - Finale
The Scariest Wrestlers of All Time
The ROHbot Report: Soaring Eagle Cup Results, Sunshine Excellence, And More
TGIF:Rush To Judgment, Paging Paige, and More
The Challenge Dirty 30 - Episode 16
Wrestling's Worst Nicknames
The ROHbot Report: Soaring Eagle Cup , More Kenny Omega, And More
TGIF: Why Kane Why, Down Goes Anthem, and More
The Challenge Dirty 30: Episode 15
The Challenge Dirty 30: Episode 14
The ROHbot Report: Global Wars Reviews, Philly Tapings, And More
TGIF: Angle Replacing Roman, Styles Replacing Wyatt, and More
Walking Dead Season 7 Guide
The Challenge Dirty 30: Episode 13
The ROHbot Report: Global Wars Results, Philadelphia Excellence, And More
TGIF: Farewell Neville, GFW Network Up...and Down, and More
Worth Your Money? ROH "Manhattan Mayhem VI"
The ROHbot Report: 2017 Global Wars Preview Edition
TGIF: Enzo Rising, Old Miss Piggy, and More
The Challenge Dirty 30: Episode 12
The ROHbot Report: Las Vegas TV Taping Results, Sea of Honor, And More
TGIF: We'll Still See Him, Young Bucks Unsweetened, and More
The Challenge Dirty 30: Episode 11
Boxers in McMahon’s Crosshairs for 2018
The ROHbot Report: Death Before Dishonor Review, The Elite Throwback, and More
The Challenge Dirty 30: Episode 10
TGIF: Bryan Club, GFW's Not Glorious, and More
The ROHbot Report: "Death Before Dishonor XV" Preview, Soaring Eagle Cup, And More


-

JG's 10/19/15 Raw Insanity: Hell of a Sell
Oct 19, 2015
JG's 10/5/15 Raw Insanity: Flashing The Brock Signal
Oct 5, 2015
JG's Insanity: The 12th Annual WWE Memorial Day Barbecue
May 25, 2015
JG's Insanity: The 11th Annual WWE Memorial Day Barbecue
May 26, 2014
JG's Insanity: The 10th Annual WWE Memorial Day Barbecue
May 27, 2013
JG's Raw 1000 Insanity: The Rocky Road To Royal Rumble
Jul 24, 2012
JG's Insanity: The 9th Annual WWE Memorial Day Barbecue
May 28, 2012
JG's Over The Limit Insanity: The Bad Big Show Ends With The Bad Big Show
May 21, 2012
JG's 4/2/12 Raw Insanity: They Get Rock, They Get Brock, They Want Daniel Bryan
Apr 3, 2012
JG's 3/5/12 Raw Insanity: The Rock Talks Us To Death
Mar 6, 2012
JG's 2/27/12 Raw Insanity: Kung Pow Cena Tattles on The Rock's Cheat Sheet
Feb 28, 2012
JG's 2/21/12 Smackdown Insanity: Daniel Bryan and CM Punk Share a Pin
Feb 21, 2012
JG's 8/15/11 Raw Insanity: Diesel Texts Himself Into The CM Punk Storyline
Aug 15, 2011
JG's 7/25 Raw Insanity: And a Hunter Shall Lead Them
Jul 25, 2011
JG's Insanity: Vinnie Gaga - "Bored That Way"
Jul 5, 2011
JG's Insanity: The Time Traveling Announce Team Crime Fighter Heroes
Jun 21, 2011
JG's Insanity: The 8th Annual WWE Memorial Day Barbecue
May 30, 2011
JG's Insanity: The WWE vs. TNA Apprentice
May 11, 2011
JG's 11/22 Raw Insanity: Your Awesome New WWE Champion
Nov 22, 2010
JG's 11/8 Raw Insanity: Orton's Vipers vs. Barrett's Carrots, Aksana Steal Belt, and Santino Makes The Ginger Snap
Nov 8, 2010

Even More From This Category >>
ClubWWI.com Contact Us Forums
All content contained here Copyright - We Want Insanity Dot Com