Don't worry, man. You can drink it. I didn't give them real pee this time. Read More

Do you like your push? Huh? Because I'll be honest with you, Alvin. I have a metal plate in my head. What's that? Hello. I have a metal plate in my head. Because of that, I don't remember who you are... Read More

Hi. I'm Brock Lesnar from the Ultimate Fighting Championship and some, uh, other stuff. I'm here today to talk about a very important subject - bullying... Read More

OK, so here's our list of demands. Does that sound too harsh? How about Wish List? Wish List is good. These are the things we want for you in order for us to allow Ric Flair to attend WrestleMania yesterday. If you don't meet them then we won't let him go to yesterday's Mania and then what'll you do? Huh? Exactly. Read More

Cena's a baby, baby, stick his head in gravy. Tie it up in bubble gum. Send that sumbitch to the navy. Bam! "Head in Gravy" - Trending worldwide. Read More

Ah yes. Hello. I'sa me - yours truly, Santino Marella. The doctor tells me to comes talk to you.. Yes. Ha ha. It's a'ok. I am a'here. I want to tell you - how do you say - you son he is a'deads! His car go skiddy skiddy boom boom. He had, uh, his brains, they scrambled like, you say, the marbles. Do not cry. Here, I play an invisible trombone in his honor. Read More

I hate to turn up, though I'm constantly invited. But my mere mention gets, the fans excited. They know they'll see my face and wrestling's wrongs are righted.  Thanks to me - that's why I'm over. Read More

It's what I believe in, Vince. Dwayne doesn't come here and stick his face in the maple syrup. I do. Hustle. Loyalty. Breakfast. Read More

Fake Diesel! Fake Razor! Dirty girlies for a nooner! It may be greater sometime later, but I'd rather boom her sooner! Read More

Seems that the now former boss has been up to a lot and he's been influencing the world much more than anyone realizes - except maybe him, which explains the God complex. Our cameras first caught Mr. McMahon at... Read More

The kids are tired of Rey
and won't watch TNA,
Take your PG back, baby
Fans were bored that way
Read More

Before time. Before space. Wrestling commentators throughout history were gathered in a timeless place and left to live in a world of their own. In a world of such characters, only a select few can band together to keep them in line. They are... The Time Traveling Announce Team Crime Fighter Heroes... Read More

Mick Foley is apparently gone from TNA. The main cause for his departure is a Tweet he sent out criticizing the company - you know, the same company he was working for and getting paid from. When reached for comment, Rep. Anthony Weiner said, "Wow. And I thought I showed balls on Twitter." Read More

Yo. You know those bags that Cody Rhodes puts on people's heads? You'll never guess what I did to them. Read More

Well, surprisingly WWE didn't actually do this task. The task was to put on a wrestling show to entertain fans. From the first day, Vince refused and insisted they wouldn't do a wrestling show. When I told him it was required, he threw himself on the ground and hit me. Read More

WWE has informed their announcers to ignore Undertaker's past WrestleMania match with Triple H. Poof. They're supposed to pretend like it never happened. I wonder how many times Hunter has joked that he has to be "treated like Chris Benoit without the benefit of getting to kill my wife! Ha. Am I right?  Am I right? Up high! Up high!" Read More

Warning: Live monkey requires daily feeding and bathing. Do not taunt, prod, poke, eat near, shine light on, make eye contact, or look in the general direction of the monkey as it is trained to attack and will attack anyone within a 100 foot radius. Also, all monkeys shipped are infected or may be infected... Read More

You're either Nexus or you're not in the opening segment because the Natural Born Thrillers are taking the stage and there's a podium, so you know this is official.    As The Nexus Slaveboy, John Cena, reads an overblown introduction from a 1776-style scroll, The boys in N take to the ring and defer the spotlight to their hometown leader, Wade Barrett... Read More

We received your memo about NXT Season 4. In it, you asked for some ideas about themes for the still-unconfirmed edition of WWE's great talent search. So we all got together - dropped a little acid, listened to a little Phish - and started writing... Read More

Last night, Monday Night Raw turned 900 years old. Few people know, though, that WWF NXT turned 904 three months ago. The longest runny endoscopic television program in the history of wrestling, NXT gets its name from the phrase - "Noah's X-Ray Tests." Noah, you see, was the first winner of NXT and he went on to win the Stanley Cup from the Russians in Rocky 2. But, I digress. Read More

Hello Jarrett.  Hello Dixie.
I'm with Vince now. Bet you miss me.
NXT is awesome. I ain't teasin'.
And they say they'll bring in AJ for next season. Read More

It's good evening to you but good morning to Josh Matthews, who just woke up after a hard night of doing Speed. He's seated alongside Michael "Speed" Cole for a show that promises to eliminate two contestants. That's it. They don't promise anything else. If you're looking for surprises, you can go watch TNA. Huh? You want that? You want to have to go and watch TNA? Of course you don't. So shut your face and enjoy the hour. Read More

However, the real issues weren't even being addressed according to some.   Marcus Smart of the Wrestling News Site, Wrestleballz, spoke to us about his concerns regarding McMahon's run. Read More

Yeah.   You don't know about him?   He's got all sorts of issues.   His name isn't even Lucky.   It's Palmer. Read More

Daniel Bryan is lowered from the ceiling in a tangled web of neckties.   When he drops to the ground, he's attacked by seven rookie stars named "The Neck Cyst."

If you're hungry, Mungry, say what's up!   WHAT'S UP!?

Who's Tina and why can't I be in her for 90 days? Read More

Hey yo.   Shurvey time.   Am I here to eat hamburgersh?   Or shometin N…W…O!   YAY!   I'm 'onna pud'dis'shit on Youtube! Read More

You want to get murdered and eaten?  Huh?  Do you?  Well, then don't order stuff from Craig's List.  We here at WWE Shop won't murder and eat you.  That's the WWE Shop promise.  And now, onto our crap...

An Insanity so massive there's actually a third show recapped in it and a virtual remote to skip to the shows you want to read about first.

Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler run down the Survivor Series card. It starts in 15 minutes and costs $700. Call your local cable operator for availability.

It's things like this that make Cena's "You Can't See Me" line funny. Why? Because many people can't see it because they're not paying 40 friggin' dollars every three weeks to watch television when there're 1000 channels on TV. Word life. This is basic economics. Read More

DX has a book. That's funny. They've had WWE's for years. Read More

Shane: No, no, no. Kanye told me in the jungle room that George Bush doesn't care about black coffee. Read More

Vince McMahon: …so that's what happened. I had said that he and his medals weren't worth a cup of coffee when he left the company. Now, this week, he gets arrested at Starbucks. It's true. Read More

Triple H? Three H's? Your name is "Ha Ha Ha?"

Triple H wins the Sledgehammer/Watermelon match after he pins Gallagher, Finlay, Cryme Time, The Miz, Mark Henry, Santino Marella, and all the new ECW guys.

There's two unseen alternate endings to John Cena's "12 Rounds." That makes three endings most people have never seen.

Vince McMahon: (annoyed) I know what salami is. Read More

WWE is proud to present the "Xtreme Basketball League."   Get ready for basketball as you've never seen it before – with a black basketball!   Now you can tell the world that you support our latest money-losing, revenge-driven, insane venture with the XBL jersey.   Each one is handcrafted by five year olds in India and comes with a signed XBL promo photo by Vince McMahon featuring our league's motto, "Stan Kroenke Is Not A Very Good Businessman."    Read More