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Smackdown
Smackdown: 1 For 1 on 2015 Main Event DQ Finishes
By Aaron Wood
Jan 2, 2015 - 6:18 PM

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

And with that out of the way (I mean come on now, it's just just excuse for the continuation of the corrupt capitalistic society we live in. I mean, it's nothing to do with becoming a new person or setting goals. It's purely to have you keep upgrading your calandar(s) every single bloody year, an example Apple has also taken to heart! :P ), Smackdown opened with this week's guest hosts Edge & Christian coming out. You know, the two guys, who, as revealed on Main Event were now suing the WWE.

Oh yeah, and of course, The Authority is back on Monday. I mean, coming back on Smackdown... HA!

Edge apologised for how things were heading in the WWE, feeling like it was his fault. And if there was something they could do to Seth, they would tear him apart, but John Cena would be taking aim for him for sure. The polled the crowd if they were ready for a great show and prepared to kick off the show when a limo pulled up in the parking lot. And who should step out but Jamie Noble and Joey Mercury. They told off their scruffy driver for somehow stepping in some shit and made their way out to the ring.

E & C were confused as they awaited them coming out. Yeah, you heard me. Mercury & Noble were making their way out for some promo time. They had a prepared statement from The Authority that they wanted read. It said that HHH & Stephanie disavowed any knowledge of what went down on Monday and it was all of Seth's doing. And Hunter & Steph were recognising Edge & Christian's contractual right to host Smackdown, but J & J Security were being appointed "observers" of the show and if E & C stepped out of line, they'd be reporting back.

See? Mercury & Noble with mics. It's gonna be a good year.


Edge noted they were still able to make matches and wanted to pitch Noble & Mercury against Ryback. But they were just razzing the pair and instead made Ryback vs. Big Show. Christian felt like trumping that and made the main event of Rusev vs. Roman Reigns. They then started the show, which was the cue for the entrance of Bray Wyatt. Maybe the first time someone actually cued up Wyatt's little cut-in.

Oh yeah, and by the way, given the whole point of Edge & Christian hosting this week was to promote their joint-appearance on Haven, was that mentioned even ONCE between RAW, Main Event and Smackdown? Unless the line was cut from the show Im using to review it, it wasn't said here and Iif it was mentioned on Monday I missed it. Just sayin'...

Since I just mentioned it, I may as well tell the story of what happened to promote the Ambulance match between Wyatt & Dean Ambrose on Monday's RAW, I guess... So Wyatt was set to face his former follower, Erick Rowan. Bray demanded that Rowan lay down, asking if he remembered Wyatt. But Rowan refused, so they got into it. Rowan found himself posted twice early on, once when he missed a charge and again soon after by Wyatt. He then set up Rowan's head against the post and ran into it.

Big Red made a comeback, squashing Wyatt in the corner and then running him down. Wyatt opened his arms and it looks like they were having something of an understanding as they were head to head, but then, suddenly, Wyatt suckered Rowan in and snapped off a Sister Abigail for the three count.

"Blowie for old times sake?"


Wyatt cut a promo after the match saying if he was willing to do that to his "own flesh and blood", what was he willing to do to Dean Ambrose. It had been fun, but all good things had to come to an end. And Dean's ended with him in the back of an Ambulance. Bollow The Fuzzards.

Later in the show, Dean Ambrose was also due to see action. That said, didn't quite happen. He was supposed to face Curtis Axel, but instead of waiting for the bell, he charged the ring and started brawling right away, quickly going outside (including hitting something of a 619 when Axel tried to get him back into the ring. The brief fight would conclude with Ambrose hitting Dirty Deeds in the ring. He called for a mic and told Bray he hoped he was listening, heading over an ambulance conveniently parked at the side of the stage. explaining how he was going to use the ambulance to, essentially, commit hideous and repeated murder on Wyatt.

Erm...what the Cincinnati area code?


So yeah, those main matches. Well, the first of those to come along was Edge's match of pitting Ryback against Big Show. Ryback got Big Show down early thanks to a couple of double axe handles, but Big Show avoided the Meat Hook at a nifty pace leading into a break, which saw Big Show in control when we came back from it. Show was working over Ryback's leg, including putting on the Haas Of Pain he's busted out on occasion recently.

Ryback managed to low bridge Big Show out of the ring to buy some time and try to mount a comeback, giving Show a Thesz Press and big splash. However, one falling splash from the middle rope saw Show grab him and look for a chokeslam. However, Ryback avoided that and hit a spinebuster. The Meat Hook was called for, but the Russian flag blew down and as Rusev & Lana came out, he was suitably distracted for Big Show to give him the KO Punch to knock him off the apron, giving Big Show the countout win.

"Stop, Ryback! Your splash is gonna look so shitty if you do it, like that!"


Ryback managed to get back into the ring a few seconds later, but was still out of it. Rusev got into the ring and looked for the Accolade, but was instead clotheslined out of the ring, leaving Rusev crazed at Ryback not being as easy the easy picking he thought he would be.

This led onto the main event that saw Rusev himself taking on Roman Reigns. The story of the early going was that when Rusev would try something, Reigns would be a step ahead and either counter or avoid it. That was until Rusev avoided a corner charge and Roman went through the corner into the post, which allowed Rusev to finally take control.

Roman blocked a turnbuckling, but was tossed out of the ring instead. This actually just pissed Roman off, compelling him to fire back at Rusev and mount a comeback. The Samoan Drop was blocked, but a back suplex wasn't. The Superman Punch was countered with a dropkick for a 2 count. Rusev wanted the Superkick, but that was countered and Reigns hit a Superman Punch right after. Things headed outside, but as Reigns got Rusev in the ring, Big Show came down.

So Roman just launched off the stairs and hit a Superman Punch. This did mean that Reigns got back into the ring right into a superkick, although he would kick out at 2. rusev wanted the superkick again, but Roman ducked it and hit a spear. However, the pin was broken by Show, who pulled Roman out of the ring and tossed him into the guardrail.

They headed over to the announce desk, with Big Show hitting a spear before looking to repeat what happened on Monday in using the announce desk. However, Reigns avoided the chokeslam through the desk, hit his kick on the apron on Show and then dodged a charging Big Show, sending him over the desk, with Reigns doing to Show what Show did to him, turning the announce desk over on him. The show ended with Reigns walking away as the announcers plugged The Authority and the Ambulance match.

It was at that point they discovered a bomb had been planted under the desk, and with all those wires, they were screwed.


Now, those were Edge & Christian's matches, but that wasn't exactly the last we saw of them. I mean, why else have J & J Security "observe" their activities if that was it? So sprinkled through out the show were skits involving the two sides. The first saw Edge & Christian decide to mess with them, declaring they were going to practice their five-second pose, which led to Jamie & Joey saying they would be doing the posing, Edge & Christian backing away, leaving them looking like goofs.

Noble & Mercury later caught up with Edge outside the rest rooms. Edge told them that Christian was in there taking a dump, but Noble was gonna go and get him. The door closed and you heard a high=pitched scream before Noble shot out again. Edge then stepped away revealing he was standing in front of the sign for, thus sending Noble into, the women's bathroom. And then, before the main event, we headed to E & C's office, where Noble & Mercury came in saying they had to get it ready for The Authority's return, replacing a couple of posters. Edge pulled out a couple of markers and the boys drew all over a poster of HHH & Stephanie on Muscle & Fitness magazine.

On Monday, The Usos outwitted The Miz & Damien Mizdow while winning the Tag Titles back from them. So here, they teamed with R-Truth to take on their old adversaries Goldust & Stardust, who teamed with Adam Rose. The match opened with Rose & Truth doing a call & response spot, where the crowd responded for Truth but didn't for Rose, with Truth trying a sneaky roll up, but only getting a 2 count. The match didn't go for as long as these six-man tags usually do, with the heels quickly taking control of Jey Uso when Stardust low-bridged him out.

The hot tag came when Jey knocked Stadust and Rose off the apron and then sent Goldust out, allowing him to tag his brother, who met Adam Rose. The match broke down, seeing Truth dive out onto Goldust, only for Stardust to hit the Falling Star onto him. This left Rose at the hands of The Usos for them to pick up the win.

I know... Usos & Rhodes Brothers. But to be fair, 2014 was, like, 3 days ago...


Then, in a new wrinkle, the male rosebuds stormed the ring, albeit with them being quickly dispatched with by the Usos & Truth, with the trio picking up hats left by the Exotic Express to dance in.

There were 2 other matches on the show, and they were both tag team matches. The first one saw Cesaro & Tyson Kidd face Los Matadores, looking to go 3 & 0 against them after 2 recent matches on other not-watched shows. Cesaro & Kidd got an inset promo where they stated they were happy The Authority was back in power, that they might now get the recognition they deserved and resolved to win the Tag Titles from The Usos. High fives were exchanged, but Natalya was shut out of them...

This was largely a showcase fro Cesaro and Kidd, although I should note that Michael Cole noted how Cesaro would be happy to see The Authority back as he was friendly with them and played a prank on Team Cena right before Survivor Series when he pretended he was gonna be on their team. And yet, giving context to Truth facing Rose got Tom Phillips buried...

This would include some double-teaming by the pair, notably Cesaro giving Fernando a Giant Swing, only for Kidd to dropkick him in the head mid-swing. Fernando eventually managed to make a tag to Diego, but it wouldn't last long as Cesaro stopped a headscissors and held him for a Powerbomb as Kidd hit a Blockbuster off the top rope for the three count.

Cesaro became concerned that Tyson Kidd was a Scrubs fan when he started saying "Eeeeeeaaaaagggglllleeeee!", especially as, being a bald man, this made him Turk.


After the match, Cesaro & Kidd were all about celebrating with each other, with Tyson completely ignoring his wife, including once again, leaving her hanging on a high five.

The other match on the show may be one that can go in my "Called it!" folder. You see, some people, such as our own Matt dawgs, don't like The Ascension. One of those reason is that they mostly only ever did squash matches on NXT (you know, lacking the context that that was just TV and they worked longer matches at house shows, the same way that Baron Corbjin is being booked right now). However, there are also certain Internet commentators who decry the lack of squash matches on TV to get new people over. Some of the people who hold those 2 opinions are the same people. Don't like Ascension. Want squash matches to make a comeback.

So I posited how fun it would be to see their brains explode if all they did with The Ascension for the first few months of their main roster run would be to have them do squash matches. And it may well have begun here, as The Ascension faced 2 jobbers that didn't get any sort of introduction or name check, winning very quickly with The Fall Of Man.

Arthur Rosenberg & Stan Stansky they ain't...


QUICK RESULTS:
Bray Wyatt def. Erick Rowan
The Usos & R-Truth def. Goldust, Stardust & Adam Rose
Big Show def. Ryback by Countout
Cesaro & Tyson Kidd def. Los Matadores
The Ascension def. Two Unnamed Opponents
Roman Reigns def. Rusev by DQ


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