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Smackdown: The Day Roman Reigns Became A Munchkin

By Aaron Wood Apr 10, 2015 - 5:51 PM print

Daniel Bryan is YOUR Intercontinental Champion. So he's now obviously everyone's bitch. A dookie and bitch. However, rigth now, at this precise moment, he's Sheamus' bitch as when Sheamus returned, he laid Bryan and Dolph Ziggler out and then on last week's Smackdown, he left Bryan laying outside the ring (OK, it was mostly a Bad News Bullhammer that did it, but work with me here, I'm setting a damn scene...) to pick up a win over Danny Boy. Bryan opened up this show, with staples very obviously in his forehead to talk about it.

He said that winning the IC Title was a career highlight, but the title only meant as much as the actions of the guy who holds it. So he was up for giving anyone who wanted a shot a shot. He did that with Dolph Ziggler. And then Sheamus came out and killed the pair of them. Ziggler was laid out for a week. So he fought Sheamus, ended up bloodied on the floor and saw Wade Barrett.

Stand Back! There's a Barrett Coming Through!

And as if that was an introduction, Barrett came out and said what happened next was that he got hit with a Bullhammer. Sheamus then immediately came out and told Bryan he then hit him with a Brogue Kick to remind Bryan not to pick on someone his own size. He tolerated Barrett because he wasn't a munchkin. So him and Wade should give him a European arse kicking. They went down to the ring and got on the apron when Dolph Ziggler came out.

Now, last we saw of Dolph, he was laid out in a vicious attack by Sheamus. His friend was about to be attacked by the same guy and his mate. So how did Dolph make his entrance? Sprinting down to the ring for some wild fisticuffs? Did he come out with a weapon as an equaliser? Did he tell Sheamus he was going to make him pay? No. None of those thing. He came out and did schtick. Even worse than what smarks would ream Cena for doing. That said, his point was that if they wanted to fight, they should right now.

Than Big Show came out. Now, I don't normally have a problem with Big Show. "Wah! He won the (only important in our own minds but in reality a meaningless way to get everyone a nice payday) Battle Royal!" "Wah! Main eventer is getting pushed!" Nope. Not having it. But in this case? Outside of his point, that being that he's fed up with the midgets as well and he's the greatest giant to have ever lived, his presence was highly incongruous and unnecessary. But before the 2 moderately and one really big guys beat up the dwarves, Roman Reigns came out of the crowd, speared Big Show and helped send the heels packing setting up out main event.

Ye know, fella, I'll just take my spikes over your silly braided mohawk thing...

Dolph started against Ziggler, although Big Show quickly tagged in. While Ziggler hit the jumping DDT, Big Show literally swatted a leaping Ziggler in the chest to take control, before tagging Barrett. He hit Winds Of Change, before tagging in Sheamus once again. Oddly, Sheamus continued to be the least effective of his team as Dolph made a comeback and tagged Bryan. Bryan ran through his signature moves before hitting a dive out. However, just before we went to an ad break, Barrett booted Bryan in the head.

Daniel was being worked over as we came back as the crowd chanted for Roman to get a tag in. So as Big Show decided to eliminate a possible tag for Bryan to make, it was Ziggler he bumped off the apron. He looked for a chokeslam on Bryan, but Bryan turned it into a Yes Lock, and while he had it on good, Big Show managed to throw him off and tag in Sheamus. Sheamus looked for a superplex, but Bryan fought back. However, Sheamus caught the crossbody Bryan tried, although when he went for White Noise, Bryan hit a DDT to put them both down.

Tags were made to Roman & Barrett and it was the Mania main event loser who took it to the Mania opener loser. Superman Punches to Big Show & Barrett, but Sheamus broke up the pin, Ziggler took Sheamus (and himself) out before Bryan hit a knee off the apron to take out Show. This left Reigns & Barrett. Wade looked for the Bullhammer, but as he closed in, Reigns hit the spear for the victory, leaving the three to celebrate as the show ended.

Now today, as I write this (Friday...old habits are dying hard...), The Marine 4 is being released on digital platforms, a movie which stars The Miz as well as Summer Rae. So here, to help promote that, because the promotion for it has been very oddly restrained to this point, they had a "special" Miz TV. Miz taked about "his" film, so Summer came out and reminded him that it was THEIR movie. Miz mockingly said it was Miz giving a Diva a chance. He told her to speak when she spoken told. He took umbrage at her saying she was the co-star, relating it to making Mizdow a star. So Summer reminded him how that worked out for Mike.

Miz said that Mizdow wasn't to blame for what has happened. The WWE Universe was to blame, making him think he was a "leading man", but they didn't want Mizdow without Miz. In three months time, we would forget his name. He's been fired twice from WWE until he saved his career and gave an opportunity and a purpose. Damien came out to the ring. Miz assumed what Mizdow's promo was going to be, but he had to get his career and life on track. The people couldn't help him, but Miz could. All Mizdow had to do was apologise.

He extended his hand, and Damien said he was sorry. He said he was sorry a lot. Before saying he was sorry he didn't do it sooner, launching into an attack. Miz managed to escape and so in celebration, Mizdow grabbed Summer and laid a big wet one on her. At first she was horrified, but soon realised that she quite liked it.

Man, Undertaker is gonna be pisse...damn it. have to keep reminding myself that's not Michelle McCool.

Once upon a time, Xavier Woods saw that his, Kofi Kingston & Big E's careers were in a bit of a rut and suggested to them that they should band together and take what was theirs. Then they disappeared for nearly forever before coming back as a group of uber-positive guys backed by a gospel choir. But alas, in this cynical age, the fans haven't taken to this positive message as they had hoped, and have expressed the opinion that they sucked. And The New Day have begun to notice, explaining that they will keep on being positive until it gets through.

Despite their stutter, they have been mixing it in the tag division recently, and on this Smackdown, they faced the Tag Champions, albeit in a non-title match. Big E cut a promo before the match, saying that they were clapping for them and they wanted to chant that his boys sucked. He asked the people to clap along with them. Some people stood and clapped along, but did the "New Day Sucks" thing, which surprised them. Big E said something had to change. The crowd had to LOVE them. Because they were there for the crowd.

Xavier Woods hasn't heard this much vociferous booing since he was accompanied to the ring by Pacman Jones...

Now, while facing The Lucha Dragons on RAW, Kofi interfered by kicking Kalisto in the back, suggesting a secretly evil side behind the positivity. However, here, they were the straight up good guys. The New Day were on top going into the break, but coming out of it, Cesaro gave Big E a very impressive deadlift slam. He soon followed that with the giant swing, ending with Kidd's dropkick to the head.

Big E was able to make a tag after planting Cesaro with a STO. Kofi ran wild on Tyson Kidd, hitting the Boom Drop. As he clapped for the Trouble In Paradise, Cesaro came in, drawing in Big E. As the ref dealt with Langston, Cesaro gave Kingston an uppercut, allowing Tyson to hit the spinning fisherman's neckbreaker for the win.

Now, of course, Natalya is married to Tyson, so there was a chance the Kidd-Neidharts could go 2 for 2 on this week's show. On RAW, some of the women got Kane to make a Battle Royal for a shot at Nikki Bella, seemingly screwing Naomi who was seemingly in line for it. Those women, namely, Nattie, Cameron & Alicia Fox were interviewed by Renee. She asked them if they shafted Naomi. Natalya conceded that Naomi had earned her shot, although she agreed with Cameron that it was good to get a chance to step ahead of her. Cameron said she would win the title shot. Fox mocked her saying Cameron had been there for, like, a week. Cameron retorted that she's been there for three years.

Three years.

THREE years.




Oh sweet Christ...

And Mike Johns just had another brain aneurysm...

Fox called herself a veteran, which Nattie was annoyed by. It ended up in a shoving match, wihch then ended up in a match between Natalya vs. Fox in a match where Cameron was the referee. Well, at least she was in the middle and not on one of the sides. The match didn't last long, with Fox in control for most of it before Natalya got the sharpshooter on for the win. Cameron was calling it right down the middle, albeit she didn't have much to do. however, after the match, she left both Alicia and Natalya laying with DDTs, because calling for her mirror to preen a while.

HE WAS BURIED!!! NEVILLE IS ALREADY RUINED!!! Those were two popular cries coming out of Monday night's RAW after Neville posted his first main roster loss after a somewhat competitive match (with a hardly clean finish) to the new WWE Champion Seth Rollins. It was certainly far from an embarrassment. And not everyone can have a Goldbergian streak. Anyway, Neville made his Smackdown debut in a rematch of his debut match against Curtis Axel. Before the match, Axel said he asked for the rematch as #Axelmania would live forever. This is less stupid if you consider it a pastiche of Zack Ryder thinking he was far bigger than he was and running with it.

Honestly, if I knew four years ago when I met a guy who though was his driver and then later that night I had drinks with at a house party he'd be wearing a purple cape in 2015, I'd have warned him... #TheWrestling

Anyway, this rematch was more or less the exact same as the previous match. It lasted all of 2 minutes and largely out-foxed Axel with flips and stuff before summarily winning with the Red Arrow. To be honest though, in my opinion, matches like the one he had on Monday are better for him than pointless 2 minute jobs where he hardly gets to show anything outside of his finisher.

One guy who at this point, you probably shouldn't have much hope for at this point is Eric Rowan. Poor guy hasn't exactly been strong since leaving The Wyatt Family. And alas, for him, he once again faced his former mentor, Bray Wyatt in a match here. They promoted this by re-airing the video made when they split Rowan & Luke Harper off from the group. After coming out, Wyatt cut a promo talking about Rowan. The first time he saw him, Rowan was cast out by a society who couldn't understand him. But Wyatt saw his possibilities and took Rowan in. He fixed Rowan, but had to set him free to see how evil the world was, and now he was broken again. So now, he would finish Rowan once and for all. Now if he could do that to someone he loved, imagine what Wyatt "could do to you"...

Rowan started off strong and knocked Wyatt to the outside early, but they went into a break as Wyatt avoided a charge, with Rowan hitting his shoulder into the corner before Wyatt dropkicked Rowan off the apron into the barricade. Rowan made a comeback with a spinning kick before heading up top, although Wyatt rolled out the ring before he could do anything. Rowan ran around, but it was a sucker job as Wyatt exploded with a clothesline. Rowan blocked Sister Abigail and tried the Full Nelson Slam, but Wyatt broke out of that and hit the running body block and then hit Sister Abigail this time for the win.

Erick didn't appreciate Bray's poor attemp[t to braid his beard just like Sheamus'...

Cesaro & Tyson Kidd def. The New Day
Neville def. Curtis Axel
Natalya def. Alicia Fox (Cameron was the special guest referee)
Bray Wyatt def. Erick Rowan
Roman Reigns, Daniel Bryan & Dolph Ziggler def. Bad News Barrett, Big Show & Sheamus

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