Aaron's UnReal Time Smackdown Review: Cena Works A Tuesday...Is It Sweeps Already?
By Aaron Wood Nov 23, 2012 - 7:30 PM
TweetWell, this looks like being the last "UnReal Time" Smackdown I do. I mean, I'm not leaving the site and I'm still going to be doing Smackdown reviews. But don't forget that as of next MONDAY NOVEMBER 26th, the World, as you insanely know it, changes. But that is next week! Also, starting in a couple of weeks will be my annual "Most played 2012" countdown. As for music this week, it'#s all Welsh band Stereophonics. Why? Just because. Been kinda revisiting their stuff this week.
LAST WEEK ON SMACKDOWN: The people with the word "Team" in their team name couldn't get along with anyone else on their team, R-Truth couldn't "sell coal to Newcastle", this show's editing staff needed to take a long hard look at themselves and Sheamus made sure Big Show rode the car home and not his bus...
We opened with a "Tonight..." video covering such topics as the "AJ Scandal", CM Punk's title reign, noting it's now 369 days, but with Ryback coming after Punk and the situation between Big Show & Sheamus coming out of Survivor Series. Meanwhile, it's Orton vs. Ziggler.
THIS WEEK… Never mind not using Greenday, when was the last time this damn show didn't start with MizTV???
But yeah, as seemingly ever nowadays, we started with MizTV. And amazingly as Miz got down to brass tacks and introduced his guest, John Cena came out. That said, it's probably even more a-mah-zing (Yeah, I do love the sitcom "Happy Endings"...) that the "AJ Scandal" coverage on this show won't just be a recap package, but an actual segment!
Cena took a seat on the couch, even moving the director's chair out of the way. His knee was all taped up, but he seemed to move fine. Miz said Cena is known for his actions in the ring, but his life has been like a TMZ story, as Vickie was bringing new evidence of an affair every week on RAW. But Cena had enough on Monday, didn't he? But it didn't come without consequence. We see him and AJ macking on each other. Miz asked how the kiss was, which Cena took exception to. Miz noted it was inappropriate, but asked how the knee was, recapping Cena's "injury".
Cena said his knee had a bit of an issue with lateral movement, but was otherwise fine. Now where's them tough questions? Miz said he had it on good authority Cena and AJ were telling the truth about not having a relationship while she was in charge. But what about now? What's the deal been post Monday, huh John? Basically, Miz was so want to ask if John & AJ, well...
Cena said he got tired of everyone making a giant issue out of nothing, listening to Vickie & Dolph. Cena gave them what they wanted. But hey, he's got a wang, he liked it. And AJ is a darn good kisser. That's great John, but are you more than just "friends"? Cena was about to answer when AJ made her way out.
She said John didn't have to answer it, but John wanted to. She seemed rather insistent. She said she knew Cena was doing that to prove a point, but Cena was all "Well..." Miz needled them about being in love when Dolph's music played and Mr. Ziggles came out. He said it was obvious Cena had feelings for AJ. But AJ?!?! She's a bad egg. If she hadn't kissed him, Dolph couldn't have set Cena up on Monday, with AJ bursting into the MEN'S locker room, he couldn't have worked his knee. But if he were Cena, he'd have feeling for AJ. The feeling of hating her guts. They replayed the brawl in the locker room, where they took out the stalls. Dolph said that was something for the WWE Universe to talk about.
Vickie came out and said Cena's girlfriend needed to control her impulses. And Dolph was right about AJ. But Dolph on the other hand knows how to kiss someone who is authoritative, confident, decisive and passionate. Cena called bullshit, because Dolph kissed Vickie and they still couldn't prove Vickie was a woman. Vickie said she wasn't talking about herself. Her relationship with Dolph was strictly professional. Dolph said if he kissed AJ, it'd bring out the real woman in her (which vickie was mildly irked at). But AJ & Cena deserved each other because they were both losers. Cena said that Vickie & Dolph deserved each other because they were opposites. One enjoyed eating a lot of nuts while the other is still looking for his.
Cena escorted AJ out of the ring, but they didn't seem coupley. The weird thing about Miz was that you would NEVER tell he is supposed to be a babyface based on that, as he was quite needily with Cena. That said it brings me back to my point how they turned Miz and Randy Orton's first epic failure of a babyface run. He's turned by circumstance, not action.
Vegas Two Times
Ryback def. Darren Young in a "Abraham who???" match
As it goes, Ryback came out before the break, with the MizTV set still in the ring. Alas, we didn't see him help with it's removal in any way. Titus O'Neil was back on commentary for this match, although it didn't get the chance to reach the classic heights of Monday night. Young got a couple of punches in early, but it was otherwise all Ryback with his usual offence. Titius blew for a foul when things spilled outside.
Back in, Ryback hit the spinebuster, Meat Hook and Shell Shock for the win. After the match, Titus got on the mic, saying the music should be cut. He got in the ring saying Young was worth millions of dollars. He started blowing his whistle, but Ryback kicked him and hit the Shell Shock on him.
R-Truth def. Antonio Cesaro in a "You'd have complained if Truth got another title shot having done nothing to deserve it, at least he beat the Champion to get one again" match
After the break, R-Truth was making his way out to the ring, followed by Cesaro. As Cesaro came out, we got a promo on his way to the ring, talking about Thanksgiving, a ridiculous US holiday about gorging and laziness. But luckily, Cesaro was their champion. Cesaro got an immediate gutwrench throw and double stomp. Cesaro quickly went to a waistlock, but Truth fed off the crowd and fought out of it. He knocked Cesaro down before hitting a jumping heel kick. The suplex-into-stunner was avoided by Cesaro, but so was the Neutralizer. Truth backdropped out of it and as Cesaro got up, Truth hit the Little Jimmy for the win.
We cut backstage to see Sheamus arriving. Booker caught up with him and said he wasn't going anywhere near the locker room. Not after Survivor Series. Sheamus asked if this was pity for Big Show. Booker denied it, saying that since Big Show got DQ'ed deliberately, at TLC Sheamus was getting another shot at Show in a Chairs match. Booker told Sheamus to take some friends up to his personal suite. And Big Show would be in a match. A handicap match against Hell No.
Superman
Alberto Del Rio def. Sin Cara in a "Is it just me or has it been the case this tyear that after losing a million matches, they put Del Rio over Sin Cara to just give him a win?" match
This match was conducted under the usual Sin Cara lighting. Now, I'm not one who is against the lights, but really, it's been months since Sin Cara started dressing in different colours, so if they are going to do it, I'd use the colouring of his attire in any given week. Del Rio missed an early charge into the ropes spilling out, with Sin Cara diving out onto Del Rio & Ricardo. Sin Cara missed a kick and ran into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Del Rio soon sent Sin Cara into the corner, with Cara's shoulder hitting the post as we went to a break.
Del Rio was working a chinlock when we came back, although Sin Cara got out and got a roll up for a 2 count. Del Rio regained control, putting Sin Cara in the corner and kicking him in the back. Putting Sin Cara on the mat, Del Rio worked the lower back, digging a knee in while applying a chinlock. Sin Cara got out and hit the Hurricanrana for a 2 count, although Del Rio came back and hit a boot to the head. Alberto missed a charge, but hit a slam (although it looked like Sin Cara was hitting a DDT) for another 2 count.
Alberto went back to the chinlock while pulling at the mask. Sin Cara got out and hit a wacky armdrag before giving Del Rio the kick to the head and springboard crossbody for a 2 count. The handspring back elbow connected, but as Sin Cara went up, Del Rio got up quick, armdragged him off and locked on the Cross Armbreaker for the win.
Backstage, we caught up with Kane & Bryan. Bryan told him to stay out of his way. Bryan beat Big Show for the title in 45 seconds. Kane said years ago, he and Show were tag champions and even back then he was a whiny over-sized baby. Hell, they had so much in common, why didn't Bryan and Show team together as "Team No Show" (I only wrote the Team part because I was directly quoting, it's still entirely redundant...).
Bryan asked if this wasn't because Kane wasn't invited to thanksgiving. Kane said "maybe". Bryan said Kane wouldn't have liked it. He had Vegan turkey. He offered Kane the idea of coming to his at Xmas if they won their match. Kane was down with that, as long as he could beat up Santa. Bryan was OK with this.
Devil
Big Show def. Hell No in a "So...no skits at the Bryan household at Xmas then?" handicap match
Bryan got a couple of leg kicks in, but Show soon took over. Kane pointed out how Bryan said he would win in 45 seconds. We saw Sheamus & William Regal watching from the skybox. Show worked over Bryan's arm, but when he let Bryan up, Bryan fired back with more leg kicks. When Big Show put a stop to that again, he went back to the arm. Show hit a slam and went to the second rope, but he missed an elbow drop from there. Bryan refused to tag in Kane and hit the kicks to the chest and then the Buzzsaw kick to the head, although Big Show kicked out...
...WITH AUTHORIT-AH!
Big Show went for a chokeslam, but Bryan turned it into a guillotine. Show threw him off, but Bryan blocked a charge. Show caught Bryan's crossbody, but Bryan slipped behind and locked in a sleeper. He got Big Show to weaken, but Big Show broke the hold falling backwards. Finally, Bryan tagged in Kane. Kane ran wild on offence, taking Big Show's legs out before hitting the basement dropkick for a 2 count. Kane went up top and hit the Flying Clothesline. Kane wanted the chokeslam, but Show punched his way out of it. Kane hit a DDt and wanted the chokeslam again, but once again, Bryan could reach Kane's arm and tagged himself in. Bryan wanted the No Lock as Kane took a walk. However, Big Show powered out of it and hit a quick chokeslam for the win.
Kane, having seen the finish on the screen, came back to the ring to yap at Bryan. Big Show went for the KO Punch on Kane, but Kane saw it coming. They foght for a chokeslam, but Bryan kicked out Show's leg and Kane booted Show out of the ring. Big Show headed for the safe haven of the stage where he got a mic and told Sheamus, in the skybox, and congratulated on getting the Chairs match at the PPV. But did Sheamus consider that a Giant would have a chair in his hands this time?
Mr. Writer
Kofi Kingston def. Damien Sandow in an "I guess Sandow got his 50p down on the pool table before Wade did (I doubt ANY American's getting this reference...)" match to retain the Intercontinental Title
Wade Barrett came out before either competitor in jeans and his shirt. Dunno why, but I found this a little odd. As Kofi came out, we saw Wade pinning Kofi on RAW as they also noted Wade put Kofi out of Survivor Series. As Sandow came out, we saw a Tout from Cody Rhodes wishing his partner luck and that they were still gunning for Kane. Sandow looked to get the upper hand early, but Kingston sent Sandow out of the ring. However, Sandow rolled in the ring as Kofi vaulted to the apron and ran Kofi into the ringpost and side of the ring going into an ad break.
Damien was working an arm and chinlock coming back. Kofi blocked a charge, but ran into a clothesline. Damien hit the knees to the chest, Side Russian Leg Sweep and Cubito Aequet for a 2 count. Kofi tried to make a comeback, but Sandow stayed on top. Sandow locked on a chinlock, but Kofi managed to get out of it. Sandow hit an Undertaker-like elbow having set Kofi up on the apron. Kofi hit a wacky boot to keep Sandow out, but Damien ran him again into the side of the ring. Kofi blocked a posting and came off the top with a crossbody for a 2 count. However, Sandow snapped Kofi off the ropes and rolled him up for a 2 count. The SOS picked up a 2 count. Boom Drop followed and then the Trouble In Paradise ended it.
Post-match, Barrett got on the announce table and cut a promo saying that Kofi's best couldn't defeat him, and the next time he defended the title, he would be the next victim of the Barrett Barrage., Kofi offered Wade in the ring, but Wade stayed where he was.
After the break, we took it to a recap of Punk's 1-Year celebration on RAW, with it ending with Seth Rollins, Dean Ambrose & Roman Reigns putting Ryback through the announce table again. To be honest, I didn't have a problem with the trio doing the same as they did at the PPV with no advancement on that front. Mainly because there were about 3.5 million more viewers on Monday to see them. What I didn't like was that while they went into some detail on the three at the PPV, they announcers acted, all night, pretty much like they knew nothing on RAW. It did feel like a weird disconnect. When we came back, JBL noted they attacked Tyson Kidd & Santino Marella "before Main Event" on Wednesday, which can be seen on WWE.com. Anyway, Michael Cole will be interviewing them on RAW this coming Monday.
In A Moment
Dolph Ziggler def. Randy Orton in a "Well, there's a tag team match set up for RAW..." match
Orton started off hot, looking for revenge at being embarrassed on Sunday, needing the referee to step in as Ziggler hid in the corner. Ziggler got his own shots in, Orton reeled off a dropkick. Ziggler went to the apron, but Randy grabbed him and gave him a slingshot suplex. Ziggler caught Orton with a neckbreaker, but Orton came back and just tossed Orton out of the floor. Ziggler tired to run, but Orton grabbed him and knocked him over the guardrail.
After a break, Orton hit a back suplex. With Ziggler under the ropes, Orton catapulted Dolph into the bottom rope. Ziggler fell out the ring, but as he begged off the approaching Orton, Dolph pulled Randy into the announce desk before hitting a dropkick on the floor. Dolph sold his own knee tweak in the aftermath, but was fine on attack when Orton managed to beat the count back in, as Ziggler went on offence. Ziggler hit an elbow drop before putting on a chinlock.
Orton got a roll up out of the corner, but Ziggler hit a leaping clothesline to stay on top. Dolph went back to a chinlock attempt, but never really got it on and fell victim Orton's signature backbreaker for a 2 count. However, as Orton went to pick Ziggler up, Dolph reeled off a big DDT for a 2 count. Ziggler went up, but Orton cut him off, hitting some punches before delivering a top rope superplex. Orton was feeling it, and started with his regular offence. Snap powerslam and Elevated DDT followed. He wanted the RKO. However, as Ziggler got up, h e dropped down and stacked Orton up for the surprise three count!
Dolph bombed it out of the ring. Del Rio & Rodriguez tried to sneak in, but as Ricardo ran in first, he took the RKO, stopping Del Rio dead in his tracks. We then saw that the leaving Ziggler was attacked by John Cena, who locked on the STF on the stage. Referees tried to break it up as the show ended.
OVERALL - Pretty good show tonight. It's amazing what decent matches and fewer recaps of RAW will do for a show, eh? I mean, I utterly applaud them spending time with the AJ/Cena stuff on here rather than just recapping it. No, they didn't exactly change any games with the segment, but still, I appreciate it. They could have done the exact same segment on RAW. And then you had some fun matches between Del Rio/Sin Cara, Big Show/Hell No and the main event, so I'm really not gonna complain about this show here.
