So here we are, the last Smackdown, and indeed, WWE show of 2012. For me anyway. Entirely because when I cover RAW on Monday, it will be fully one hour into 2013 in the UK. So Happy New Year when it comes. And as it's the last review of the year, that means this week's music video selection are my top 5 songs of this year. The "winner" is no real surprise, if you know me. Closer than you'd think though. Going by iTunes, just 5 plays in it...
LAST WEEK ON SMACKDOWN: AJ pretended to be Clarissa and explained it all, Tensai's week went for shitty to worse, the production staff wrongly anticipated The Shield, and Big E. Langston liked to watch.
We open with a video that talks about how Sheamus & Big Show's rivalry intensified and how on RAW on Xmas Eve, they drew half the roster into it before going back to last week's MizTV. Dolph telling AJ to cover her ears still cracks me up. The question asked is how Miz would respond to being laid out.
Booker T handles some balls...
Sheamus opened the show. He wished everyone had a Merry Xmas. He had a great time time. He drank loads of booze. He got a bunch of ugly sweaters and ties that will never see outside the wardrobe. And his ma sent him a supply of sunscreen. But his best present came at RAW when he beat Big Show. And thusly, his new year's resolution was to become World Champion once again. But since 2013 was too far away, how about getting that done now? He then called Big Show as if it was Impact on one of their ever shitty "Open Fight Nights".
Big Show made his way out and headed to the ring. However, he wasn't for a match/ He noted that Sheamus kept coming up short when it counted. And Sheamus certainly doesn't get to decide when Big Show defends his title. Sheamus asserted Big Show was a coward, and said that he might not get a shot at the title, he was gonna have himself a fight.
Booker T came out and said Big Show was right. Big Show won at TLC. But Sheamus did win on Monday. Big Show said he knew where Booker was going and he wasn't having none of it. He was DONE with Sheamus. Sheamus wasn't worthy of a shot. Hell, there wasn't a single guy in the locker room worthy of a shot. It reeked of inferiority. Booker said Big Show would be in action tonight. Booker said that he was going to bring out everyone out and put their name in a tumbler and pick a name out. And that person would get a title shot.
Everyone came out, led by Teddy Long and Eve. Well, not everyone. Basically, the Smackdown roster. So no Cena, for example. No Ryback either. Not those two, but there sure was Ted DiBiase and Yoshi Tatsu... Long & Eve argued over who was going to do the drawing, knocking the basket over. Booker ended up stepping in and picking out Santino Marella! Big Show practically pissed himself howling with laughter. Marella was incredibly too until he danced right into Big Show's face as he left the ring.
05: Blur - "The Puritan"
Brodus Clay def. Primo in a "So the big fat lad beat the little guy and his TWO back up dancers beat up the one woman...Are they ALL turning heel or summat?" match
Epico ran interference right away, allowing Primo to attack the leg and try to get the upperhand. Didn't work. Clay very quickly came back and hit the running headbutt and splash for the win. After the match, Rosa got in Clay's face, but he left her to Cameron & Naomi, who hit a double suplex and then a double splitting leg drop. They then got the kids in the ring as usual. Including the most excited kid to be seen doing it EVER. The little pinscher even did a cartwheel.
Back from break, Sheamus was with Santino Marella. Santino wanted advice on later, namely learning the Brogue Kick. Santino warned that with him learning the Brogue Kick combined with the Cobra, Sheamus may never be champion again. Sheamus showed him how to do it, but when Marella tried it, he popped a hamstring, oging down while screaming comedically.
Wade Barrett & Rhodes Scholars def. Kofi Kingston & Hell No in a "Well, one more loss and Wade would have been entirely pointless as a contender..." match
Typical WWE six man. That is to say it was a lot of fun. Then again, should be with these guys. After working with each other, they went into a break with Wade Barrett avoiding a Trouble In Paradise. When we came back, The Rhodes Scholars were in control of Daniel Bryan, with Sandow hitting the Cubito Aequet. All three heels worked over Bryan until he was able to make the hot tag to Kofi after elevating Rhodes into the top turnbuckle, face-first.
Kofi went to work on Barrett, although Sandow and Cody broke up a pin off of a high crossbody. Hell No & Rhodes Scholars took each other out while in the ring, Kofi countered the Bull Hammer with a roll up, although as he saw Cody coming in the ring, he hit Rhodes with Trouble IN Paradise. However, this allowed Wade to hit the Bull Hammer for the win.
04: Enter Shikari - "System/Meltdown"
The announcers spoke about how Santino had pulled his hamstring and was unable to compete. In the back, Big Show was chuckling away that his match was off and his night was over. However, Booker told him that he was having a do-over on the lottery pick. They didn't announce who was picked right away as Booker sent Teddy off to get the winner. They were still arguing when Teddy returned after the break with the lucky title shot recipient.
Suddenly, Big Show was full of joy once again. He mocked his chances and goaded Ricardo into announcing himself as the World Heavyweight Champion. As usual, Ricardo was awesome here, acting scared until Show put the belt on his shoulder and told him to announce himself as champion. However, as he was doing that, Big Show hit the KO Punch, telling Booker to stop playing with him and his title.
Antonio Cesaro def. Zack Ryder in a "More of this in 2013. That's to say both Antonio winning and Ryder losing..." match
Cesaro dominated from the bell, hitting some big shots while working some on the arm of Ryder. Ryder got out of a waistlock and gave Cesaro a faceplant and missile dropkick, but he missed the Broski Boot and Cesaro hit the uppercut to the back of the head and the Neutralizer for the win.
The announcers wondered if Cesaro could hit The Neutralizer on Great Khali on Main Event on Wednesday. They then moved to MizTV last week and Big E. Langston laying out Miz. It was Miz & Ziggler next. Interesting thing, on this week's NXT (and yes, I shall hopefully be playing a bit of NXT catchup this coming weekend) they have a "Year in review" show, but with some fresh promos & interviews. One is an AWESOME Shield promo and another is with Big E. Langston acknowledging his RAW activities. They actually seem to position him as a heel on RAW but still a face on NXT as he vows to go after the NXT Title.
Dolph Ziggler def. The Miz in a "" match
Ziggler came out with both AJ and Langston. Miz took control early, using a series of headlocks. In a great spot, Miz tossed Ziggler out, and Dolph launched into Big E. who caught Dolph, but otherwise didn't move or change his facial expression. Once he got back in, Ziggler quickly took control of the match, Miz got out of a wacky abdominal stretch, but was caught coming off the top with a dropkick as they took an ad break.
Dolph had re-taken control after this. However, Miz recovered and as Dolph missed a charge, Miz started a comeback. The Reality Check picked up a 2 count. The sleeper was blocked and Miz hit the short DDT for another near fall. Ziggler avoided a boot to the face and looked for the Fameasser, but that missed and Miz sent Dolph to the corner to his his clothesline. He came off the top with a double axe handle. He blew AJ a kiss mockingly. So she sent Langston after him. However, while Miz saw him coming, it allowed Ziggler to hit the ZigZag for the win.
After the match, Miz actually got on the mic while on the mat, and said told AJ that no matter who she was with on New Year's Eve, the night would end with a "bang". Ziggler went back to the ring, but Miz was playing possum and he took Ziggler down and forced him from the ring. However, as Dolph left, Langston went in and body-blocked Miz before hitting the Big End. Then just like last week, as Langston stood over Miz, AJ & Dolph made out over their fallen foe.
03: Enter Shikari - "Warm Smiles Do Not Make You Welcome Here"
Backstage, Booker T was checking on Ricardo in the back.The doc said he'd be fine long-term, but he wasn't wrestling tonight. Brad Maddox sauntered in looking for one more chance. Booker was pissed, saying he didn't need Maddox around him. Maddox continued to needle Booker though, so he got that one last shot. And that match was next. Del Rio came in and checked on Ricardo. Alberto told Booker that next time he saw Big Show, he'd be like a giant pinata. Booker told him, he could do him one better, putting Del Rio in that title match. He told Ricardo this one was for him.
Sheamus def. Brad Maddox in a "Back to RAW for a last last chance, then..." match
Maddox cut a promo on the way to the ring, saying his resolution was to become a certifed superstar. And he's never broken a resolution. He said he had a resolution for the crowd too. Remember the name Brad Maddox. And after tonight that would be as easy as it got. And then his opponent came out. Sheamus, obviously. I just wrote it in bold. The announcers noted that on the "Second screen" deal on the App, Maddox had "just noted" that Vickie hadn't told him he had had his last chance on RAW.
Sheamus was way too much for Maddox, although Maddox got some shots in after some cat & mouse stuff. However, it didn't last long and Sheamus soon hit the White Noise and Brogue Kick for the win. Buh-bye Bradley. JBL loved Maddox taking a beating.
02: Arctic Monkeys - "R U Mine?"
After the break, the RAW Rebound looked at what happened on Monday as Alberto ran over Santa while doing an ungodly 0.5 mph. It was still incredibly funny in it's OTT way. However, we did not get to see Alberto having to use a Teddy bear as a weapon. That would have been the capper on it.
The Usos def. The Prime Time Players in an "I bet at this point, they want to maim Abraham Washington..." match
Amazingly short match, given the teams involved and what they could do. The Usos started off hot, but a blind tag and big boot to Jey Uso saw the PTP take control, but not for long as a double-team miscommunication saw Darren down Titus. However, while Young hit his finisher, Jimmy Uso broke up the pin. After O'Neil hit some shots to Jimmy, while the ref was dealing with Titus, Jimmy switched with Jey and cradled Young for the three count.
After the break, the announcers talked about The Shield, sending it to a promo by them, once again on a conveniently turned on camera that was laying around somewhere. They went over who they had beaten up in 2012 before saying that 2013 would be the year The Shield cleansed the WWE. Fine promo, but not as good as their NXT one.
Backstage, Big Show was with Matt Striker. And now Booker was PISSED. He's had two opponents lined up, one pulled his groin and the other was knocked out. And now he has to face Del Rio?!?! He said that EVERYONE in the locker room was either a loser, reject, wannabe and nobody. That includes Alberto. And he would be happy to knock Alberto out too.
01: Jack White - "Sixteen Saltines"
Big Show def. Alberto Del Rio by DQ in a "Well, may as well set up the lame-duck title defence at Royal Rumble" match for the World Title
Del Rio came out and made a bee-line for the ring, without a Ricardo introduction or car. They actually gave this the PPV main event introductions. Del Rio was precocious in the early going, although Big Show kept knocking Alberto off before taking him down with a headlock. When Del Rio escaped, Big Show hit a chop in the ropes before a headbutt sent Del Rio to the outside. Del Rio took a whip into the steel steps, which allowed him to take control when they went back in, as Show worked the arm and shoulder.
Alberto made his comeback after Show missed an elbow drop, hitting a series of kicks to the head of the kneeling giant before picking up a 2 count. He tried working the arm and looked for the Cross Armbreaker, but Big Show blocked and shoved him back out the ring. Big Show rolled out the other side of the ring and headed up the aisle, having had enough. However, as he looked back at the ring, Sheamus attacked him, drawing the DQ.
Big Show actually put Sheamus down, turning round to leave again. However, Big Show's words would haunt him as the Smackdown roster came out to the stage to block Big Show's leaving. They attacked Show and brought him back to the ring. It was a little weird to see Ziggler cheering on Miz. Show was rolled back in, where Del Rio hit the enziguri to the head before Sheamus hit the Brogue Kick as Show got up.
The show ended with the Sheamus & Del Rio in the ring standing over Big Show while the roster looked on at ringside.