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JG's 6/11/07 Raw Insanity: Vince McMahon Finally Gets Appreciation...Then He Dies

By James Guttman Jun 11, 2018 - 11:55 PM print


  Originally Published June 11, 2007


WWE.com 24/7 Magazine Presents:

Mr. McMahon's Photo Diary From

The Entire "Mr. McMahon Appreciation Day"

Hello, marks. When WWE.com 24/7 Magazine asked if they could follow me around all day for "Mr. McMahon Appreciation Day," I was happy to oblige. After all, it's Mr. McMahon Appreciation Day! Right? Am I right? Right.

Plus, I ordered them to ask me if they could follow me around all day. So when they asked, I had to say yes, right? Of course.

Well, I didn't say yes right away actually. I said, "Beg me." Then they said, "But you asked us to do this." Then I fired two of them. Then they begged. Anyway, the pills are kicking in so let's get to the Memory Lane already.

First stop was Twin Towers Correctional Facility . I went to go see Paris Hilton and introduce her to Umaga. Most don't know or respect the connections I have around this country. Needless to say, I have a friend who has a friend who knows a guy who was able to get the Samoan Bulldozer added on as her new cell mate. Ooo fun. I stood there for a while and watched her cry.

That's Hot

After that, I poked her w ith a stick for a while.

Then I left. Ah. Fun.

Once I had finished with that, I had Shane drive me into Hollywood. I got wind that Tony Soprano was out there. Now I was a bit confused because, like all of you, I thought he was from Jersey. But no. He was there having lunch. Just munching away. Fuhgetaboutit!

Look, no matter what you thought about the finale of the Sopranos, one thing is sure. It would have been much better if HBO had signed me, Mr. McMahon, to shoot Tony dead. That would have been the finish. That would have been pure perfection.  No storyline.  No fake name.  Just have me show up and shoot him.  Maybe have Meadow scream out, "Mr. McMahon is so sexy" or something like that.  It would have been effin' sweet.

But no. No phone call. No letter.  No electronic mail.  Nada. I even called them a few times, but they said no and that it had something to do with Bob Costas and that guy with the weird name I went apeshit on for giving me a funny look after asking me about people dying. But you know what? Screw them. I'm Vincent Kennedy Rasmussen Olivier Alasdair McMahon Esquire DDS. No one tells me what to do.

So we found Tony at a diner eating. I walked up to him and was like, "Hi, Tony." So he goes to shake my hand and I'm like...

BLAMMO!

The Real Finale


So he's on the floor and crying like a baby.  After all the people he had whacked, you'd think he could take a gunshot.  No way.  What a looooser.

So, as he's dying, Tony looks up at me and goes, "I'm'a Jay-mez-gandolfini!" I could only assume that's one of his Italian mafia curse words. So I yell back, "Jay-mez-gandolfini to you too, pisan!" Then I shot him again and ran away before the cops came.

After that, I played with the TNA toy wrestling ring that Stephanie gave me.


Weee


Once I was done doing that, I decided to follow Hulk Hogan around for a while. He was filming Hogan Knows Best (or as a I call it, "Hogan Knows Doo-Doo" - haha haha!) I made sure to stand in the background of all the shots. I was just far enough way that the camera men didn't notice me, but close enough that I could be seen clearly and they couldn't use the shot. I love it.

Kinda like the Grudge...


Also, I tossed the gun I used to kill Tony Soprano in Linda's purse and then called the cops from my cell. Sweet.

Around dinner time, I met up with Isaiah Washington.  I said, "Preston, meet the real McDreamy.  Ha ha ha!"  We ate some chicken fingers and he told me some really funny jokes. Oh how we laughed. I love that dark man. He has such a wit about him. He told me that T.R. Knight's middle name is "Takes It Up The Butt Every."

HAHAHAHAHA! Oh Isaiah, you so crazy!

Burke and The Real McDreamy!

So that was my day. I had a lot of fun and hopefully you all did too. Be sure to tune in to McMahon Night Raw tonight at 8pm Eastern, 7pm Central, 4pm Specific, and 99 o'clock Mountain time. Don't ya dare miss it. Ah ha ha ha!

What a maneuver,

Vince McMahon

 


ClubWWI.com Members, Check Out -

JG's 6/11 Raw Insanity Extra:

James Guttman's 18 Minute Audio Analysis of
The ClubWWI Sid Vicious Shoot Interview

Not a member?

Click Here To Join Now
or go to
CLUBWWI.com

( JG Note: Much like I did when I interviewed Kevin Nash this past January, I've decided to do an audio that looks at the ClubWWI.com  uncut interview with Sid Vicious. Sid's full interview covered everything from losing the WCW title to Chris Benoit only to see him leave the next day to the Flair-Foley "bitch fight" to seeing the Shockmaster fall.  Clips from the Club interview were also a part of this week's Radio Free Insanity , but there were so many different questions and perspectives coming out of Sycho Sid's uncut shoot that I wanted to do an extra ClubWWI audio to discuss it. Everything from the Arn Anderson scissors incident to the next stage in Sid's career are discussed. Club Members, log in now to hear Sid's shoot, my analysis of it, hundreds of hours of other shoot interviews, audio shows, and much more.)


Raw's underway with Vince McMahon in his yellow tie and that ever so crazy look in his eyes. VKM seems to be doing an impression of his wife Linda's promos as he's reading his lines like a robot from a piece of paper. Further down the mouth of madness, Vince tells fans to prepare for a great night. Mr. McBacklund assures us all that he has all his faculties about him and the loss of his ECW title hasn't tipped him over the mental edge...yet. Tonight you'll hear from people who have come in and out of Vinnie Mac's life. It's a night of history. Put on your yellow ties, beeches. It's party time and you best not playa-hate. Appreciate.

Raw Theme Plays .

Quickly, we go down to Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler, who explain tonight's Draft to us. They then shoot the camera over to Smackdown announcers JBL and Michael Cole who...explain tonight's Draft. Then, from there, we go to ECW's Joey Styles and Tazz who...uh, explain thermonuclear physics. Well, not really. They explain the Draft too. After three explanations of the Draft, the sad thing is that I'm still not really sure how it works. Do they choose? Do they pick names from a hat? Who knows? All I know is that the first Draft choice goes to the winner of the following Raw vs. Smackdown match. It's John Cena vs. Edge. The winning brand gets to choose the first Draft pick. EC Who?

1. World Champion Edge defeated WWE Champion John Cena via countout

Jim Ross says that tonight's show will feature interbrand matches with the winning superstar's home show getting a Draft pick. In other words, if Raw wins every match tonight, they get every Draft pick. Get it? Yeah? No? Little bit? Whatever. We'll figure it out as we go along. This one was interesting for a number of reasons. Edge and Cena had a huge history on Raw and Copeland's recent jump to Smackdown is so fresh that it made this match seem less like Champ vs. Champ and more like a "classic rivalry" as J.R. explained. Copeland seemed to have the advantage for most of the opening, but it all went to hell towards the end. After taking the battle to ringside, the WWE Champion hoisted Adam on his shoulders. Atop the ring steps, it looked like the R Rated Superstar was going to be F-Ued through the ECW announce table. Before The Marine could lower the boom, Edgar pushed the C-Man off and climbed back in the ring. The referee was already up to nine and once the SD World Champion squirmed in, the countout was official. Sorry, Dr. Thuganomics. You lose. Boo hoo.

With that, we go to the Draft Lottery screen. It's a lot like the old "Press Your Luck" screen only with more annoying sounds. The "random" choice finally settles on...

Smackdown Drafts...

The Great Khali

...and his nameless Indian Tony Danza translator friend.

rudy huxtable

Edge looks shocked and Cena looks relieved. Me? I'm confused. Khali has been on four brands in eight months. Considering WWE only has three brands, that's pretty friggin' nuts.

Commercial Break. Why does the commercial for the "new" Wrangler jeans use the '70s song, "Boys Are Back in Town" by Thin Lizzie? Seems like a mixed message, right?

Mr. McMahon Appreciation Night Video: Clips from Vince McMahon's autobiographical DVD .  No wonder the show is three hours. If they're going to wedge in clips from old WWE videos to fill time, I hope they play Kamala bowling.

VKM Appreciation Night Celebrity Video: Jesse Ventura is homeless now. Well, he may not be technically homeless, but he looks that way. Jess tells Vince McMahon that he refuses to call him "Mister." He's simply "McMahon" and a dictator of WWE nowadays. The Body tells the Ego that dictators all fall.

"Trust me. I've met with a dictator - the dictator of the world and I don't see no beard on you, McMahon!"
   
- Jesse Ventura

Saddam Hussein was dictator of the world? If so, then why did we have to invade Iraq? If he was dictator of the entire world, we could have just invaded Cleveland.

Backstage, John Coachman continues the trend of talking to me from a stationary camera backstage. John says that Vengeance will feature every WWE title on the line. Not only that, but any former WWE Champion on the Raw roster is lligible to challenge for the championship in a group match at the pay-per-view. Thanks, Coach. You always keep me up to date on all the goings on. Thank you for, well, just for being you. You're good people, man. Good people.

Carlito and CM Punk are up next. Winner takes Draft pick #2. Wouldn't it be funny if Carlito wins and Raw randomly chooses back Khali? They should just do that all night. Just ping-pong him between brands until he settles back on Raw at the end. It would be a fun way for WWE to give their fans the collective finger and it is Mr. McMahon Appreciation Night after all...

Commercial Break.

2. ECW's C.M. Punk pinned Raw's Carlito after the GTS

Charles Robinson, clad in his Smackdown referee shirt, officiated this one. I like the setup so far, to be honest. WWE has done a nice job of giving the night a different feel. Despite it's poor execution, the concept of a random Press Your Luck '80s computer chooser gimmick, they don't need a GM for each brand. It's good news for the promotion as ECW has none. Raw doesn't really have one either. Smackdown? They have two. Amazing, right? By adding the match stip to each interbrand contest tonight, WWE has given the night meaning rather than shoving meaningless bouts between Drafts. It was a good idea. As for this match, these two put on a good showing and finished things off after Cool nailed his Backstabber. Triple C tried to get a pinfall, but only got to two. Punk quickly rebounded and hit the "Go To Sleep" for a pinfall. ECW gets choice #2.

Bleep, bleep, bleep...(JG Note: This computerized choosing thing is a good idea in theory, but the final product is terrible. Not only does it go on too long and make the most annoying beeping noise imaginable, but it doesn't even show the winner. It goes to the graphic, shows guys one by one as they beep by, but instead of slowing the graphics down and then randomly landing on one, they cut away and go to a graphic that says "Draft" before showing the wrestler's picture. Pretty pointless. They could have gimmicked it to land on who they want it to and it would have looked a lot less ghetto. But I digress, this is ECW's moment...)

ECW Drafts...

The Boogeyman

Love Actually

CM Punk seems happy. Not sure why. Maybe he's high.

VKM Appreciation Night Celebrity Video: Snoop Dogg curses a lot and reminds the boss of when his head was in Big Show's rear end. Hey. Whatever happened to Big Show? That's weird. Mentioning Big Show. Who's next? Zach Gowan?

Commercial Break. You think that we have a lot of anti-war protests in the US now? Well, just wait until the USA declares war on the 4400. You think I'm kidding? According to the USA's official network, the war begins soon. Laugh if you want. I'm building a bomb shelter.

Mr. McMahon Appreciation Night Video: Clips of Vince's firings, forced ass-kissings, dropped divorce angle, Hogan hatred, Stone Cold harassment, Montreal Screwjob, and - yes - Zach Gowan.

Hey, Mick. You're next. They're playing your music. Yo...I thought you retired.

I did. You ask me that every time I show up.

I know. I do it on purpose to be a jerk.

Mick Foley is here and he's growing the wavy mullet out again. Foley lets the crowd know that he was listening earlier. He heard that there's an open WWE Championship match coming up at Vengeance. Now, the last time Mick checked, he was still on the WWE roster and a member of Raw. Grandiose retirement speeches aside, Mankind is still on the brand and if he stays there after tonight's Draft, he'd like to throw his name in the ring for that open WWE Title match. Now with that said, Mickey has to talk about the real star of the show. Tonight's man of honor - Vincent Kennedy McMahon.

"The truth is, Vince has affected the lives of everyone in this arena, every person backstage, every person watching at home. He has the power to do so much good din the world and the question is, did he actually follow through...He somewhat followed through...But does Vince McMahon actually have any real friends? ...Al list of people that includes Hulk Hogan, Triple H, Eric Bischoff, The Rock, NBC Sport Chairman Dick Ebersol, Heartbreak Kid Shawn Michaels, my unofficial 5th child Trish Stratus, even Ted Turner. Yes, they were all asked and every last one of them declined. They felt that Vince McMahon was simply not worth their time. They did not appreciate Vince McMahon and the question is should any of you?"
            
- Mick Foley

Big pops: Hulk Hogan, Triple H, The Rock, Shawn Michaels, Trish

Light Boos: Eric Bischoff, Ted Turner

No Reaction: Dick Ebersol, Philip Drummond

I cut out a big chunk of this speech because it was the same we've heard all night. Vince is good, but he's a jerk. That's the theme. This was more of the same and ended without incident. I guess this was the way of mentioning famous names on Raw without having them actually there. Also, it feels weird that Mick still talks about being a "Raw roster member." He's like the 22 year old guy that hangs out at the high school. He doesn't go to class, just like Foley doesn't wrestle every week. But he shows up once in a while and goes to the Junior proms. Have fun at the Vengeance prom, Cactus. Bang bang.

Commercial Break. The Summerslam Commercial makes it pretty clear that the party crashers are meant to refer to Jackass. They've added some of the opening bars of the theme song. I like Jackass, but I can't help but feel it's a bit dated now. Are they going to get Tom Green, Richard Hatch, and Sisquo too?

3. Raw's Umaga pinned ECW's Balls Mahoney after the Samoan Spike.

Umaga thumbs Balls and gets the pinfall. Ha ha.

Beep, beep, beep...

Raw Drafts...

King Booker and Queen Sharmelle

Get World Wrestling Insanity: The Book Here

Joey Styles screams, "If Balls Mahoney had won this match that means ECW would have gotten King Booker?!" Uh...not sure it works that way, Joey. If it did, it would really mean that they stupid Press Your Luck thing was pointless. They person is already decided beforehand? What's the deal here? What's the point of the beep, beep, beep?

Forget all that, it's Bobby Lashley and Chris Benoit next. The ECW Champion who's always on Raw takes on the Smackdown guy who's always, well, on Smackdown. Stick around.

Retro Commercial Break.

VKM Appreciation Night Celebrity Video: Steve-o thanks Vince McMahon for showing people get their ass beat. He then recites a two line poem and signs off. I like Steve-o, but I like him a lot better when he's wasted.

5. ECW's Bobby Lashley pinned Smackdown's Chris Benoit.

Michael Cole is forced to do the Jim Ross orgasmic "Fruity Skittles" promo at the start of the match. He sounded pretty sad when he had to do it and it made the whole thing sound even funnier because of it. Benoit and Lashley wrestled a great match at first and showed that Chris should have been working with Bobby earlier on. Had these two feuded early on, I think people would have a different opinion on Lashley at this point. The guy can wrestle and not enough people realize that. Also, Bobby's come a long way in the last few months after his Super Mega Star Crash Course. JBL tells Cole that he doesn't get why Steve-o is on the show tonight. He even adds that he can't understand "Snoop Dizzle, Mick Foley, and the Governor Idiot." Bradshaw says that Mr. McMahon made them who they are they need to appreciate it. ECW's Steve Armstrong reffed this one so either my theory on the refs is off or else WWE forgot that Lashley wasn't a Raw guy. After many back and forth moments, Benoit locked Bob in the- as Michael Cole referred to it - "move made famous by WWE Hall of Famer Bret 'the Hitman' Hart," the Sharpshooter. It did him no good though, Bobbo is strongo. The Crippler was overpowered and the ECW Champion got the pinfall.

ECW gets the next pick. Beep away, pointless machine.

Beep, beep, beep...

ECW Drafts...

Chris Benoit

Prove my balls wrong!

Nice. Bob and Chris exchange looks and then share a handshake while JBL vents about how Smackdown is on tonight's losing end. Three Smackdown people are gone! Sure they got The Great Khali, but - Damn! How is that fair, Joey Styles?

To answer Layfield, we shoot over to the Extreme announce table (JG Note: It's made of wood infected with poisonous spiders), where Styles and Tazz can't be happier. They talk about the ECDebuts of Benoit and Boogeyman. That's awesome! The Tazmaniac thinks it's great how Boogey claims to be "from the Bottomless pit." That's cool, I guess. Then again, Damian DeMento was from the "furthest reaches of your mind." That doesn't mean they wet themselves over getting him as a Draft pick.

Back at the Raw table, Ross and Lawler sing about getting King Booker and urge fans to stick around. It's McMahon Appreciation Night. There's no crying on McMahon Appreciation Night!

VKM Appreciation Night Celebrity Video: Donald Trump thinks that Vince McMahon has a pretty big ego. Trump shows clips of Vince's haircut and talks lovingly of his man, Bobby Lashley, beating Umaga at WrestleMania. Something tells me that's the last time he watched any WWE TV. He cuts down the boss for having the arrogance to hold an Appreciation Night for himself. You said a mouthful there, funny hair.

Retro Commercial Break. Get it?

Last week on Smackdown: Vince McMahon fired Ashley for spilling coffee on him. You'd think that would mean that she shouldn't be on TV, right? Nope. It means she's on TV more. In fact, Ash got an entire video package.

Masked as a VKM Appreciation Video, Ashley's appearance is meant to introduce a Vinnie Mac video package. The clip? Trish Stratus barking like a dog. Yup. Woof. Woof. Dogese and the all that. You remember that? Trish in her underwear barking like a dog? You enjoy it? Turn ya on a bit? Huh, horndog? Well, get ready to lose that visual.

Ash introduces not one...but two WWE Divas. Cheering? Hold your applause, kiddies. We get ready to pay homage to that great moment in Trish Stratus Humiliation History with none other than - Oh God - Moolah and Mae Young.

These two women, who were crazy old a decade ago, strip down to nightgowns and kneel down in front of a dog dish. On their hands and knees, they begin to bark.

Arf. Arf. Arf.

Then...

...out of nowhere...

...completely unexpectedly....

...the segment ends. Ugh. I have a headache.

VKM Appreciation Night Celebrity Video: Iron Sheik and Jimmy Snuka express their feelings about Vince McMahon. The Sheik rambles on about racquet ball and really seemed to play up the insane incoherent gimmick that has brought him new acclaim in the Internet age. Famous for his "make you humble" sodomy threat, we had the former WWE Champion on ClubWWI.com   last year. He lived up to his rep and definitely spoke his mind. I wouldn't be surprised to see him pop up more as a novelty legend, along the same lines as Ron Simmons doing "Damn." There's many moments that would seem fitting for the Sheik to show up as a skit-ending punch line and ramble on about nothing while everyone mugs for the camera.

Yo, Santino. You need a catchphrase, man. Here on Raw, that's what sells. Mine is that I spit in the face of people who don't want to be cool.

Si? I spit in the spaghetti!

You spit in...? Wait. The spaghetti that they have in catering?

Si!

You spit in it?

Si!

Dude! I ate that spaghetti! What the hell is wrong with you?

6. Smackdown's MVP pinned Raw's Santino Marella after the

What a drag. The U.S. Champion vs. The I.C. Champion and it feels so...blah. It's not MVP's fault either. In fact, I was glad to see him on Raw. You can't help but respect how he's gone up the ladder since his debut. Not only had he gone up in terms of push, but also in terms of his performance. He's fun to watch and knows the persona he's supposed to portray. Santino, on the other hand, is so undefined that you can't help but think we're watching a new generic starter character rather than the Intercontinental Champion. There's definitely going to be another stage of Marella's character at one point, but right now he's too plain to make a difference. Right now he's just the Italian guy from Jersey with red shoes. Good Ol' J.R. spoils the Sopranos a bit as he mentions that Tino would love to make a "Phil Leotardi out of MVP." Tough luck, Chef Boy-R-Dee. Montel ain't about to let that happen. All it takes is one turn of his trademarked Playmaka to turn the Italian Stallion into glue.

Beep...Beep...Beep...

Smackdown Drafts...

Torrie Wilson

Wow. Is it 2003 already?

Still to come: Bret Hart appreciates Vince McMahon. In Canada, "appreciates" is slang for "wants to punch."

Commercial Break. WWE Ladder Matches DVD   actually looks pretty good. Any DVD that has Junkyard Dog in a ladder match ranks pretty high on my list.

VKM Appreciation Night Celebrity Video: Bret Hart really likes that black backwards cap, huh? He's wearing it as he sits at a gym and addressed Mr. McMahon. The Hitman says he wants to give Vince "30 or 40" fists the face. It was good to see him on television and you can't help but feel that if he was in better health, he'd have returned to WWE a hundred times over by now. Although it was fun for us all to debate Montreal back and forth, I'm ultimately glad that both sides were able to get past it and do what's best.

7. Snitsky pinned The Miz after a Big Boot

Who's drawing these matches? After Umaga's early supper of Balls Mahoney, you'd think there'd only be one smush job. Instead we get two. Tazz called it early on and said that ECW was going to get another Draft pick. He appeared to be right as Snitz earned a pinfall victory.

After the announcement, Gene went crazy and beat down the fallen Real World star. Little did he know that he could be disqualified once the match was over. Oh he must not have realized because he's on ECW. They're Extreme, don't'cha'know?

New #7. The Miz defeated Snitsky via disqualification

Beep, beep, beep...

...No Whammies....No Whammies....Big Biceps.... STOP!

Smackdown Drafts...

Chris Masters

Oh thank God. This guy has needed a change of scenery for the last year. The pic they use for The Masterpiece looks nothing like him. Chris is the Masterpiece of Disguise. He changes looks daily. At this rate, when Masters does eventually return to Raw, he'll be a 700 pound Japanese woman with a goatee.

VKM Appreciation Night Celebrity Video: Bobby "The Brain" Heenan talks about Mr. McMahon's walk and how he put many people to work in the business. Bobby is not only a WWE Hall of Famer, but also...wait for it...the first Uncut Interview guest ever on ClubWWI.com . Heenan's shoot went up the day after we opened the Club and lasted for a full hour. He was awesome and one of the most quick witted people you'll ever here. It was good to see him on Raw.

Up next, Roddy Piper.

Retro Commercial Break. Wah.

Rowdy Roddy Piper is here! Yee-haw! You damn betcha, man! The Rowdy Scott looks great in his first appearance since being diagnosed with Lymphoma. Piper introduces the next set of clips in "McMahon Appreciation Night." This group focuses on Vinnie Mac's most embarrassing on-air moments.

Um, I know the easy answer is "because he owns the company," but seriously - Why are they doing this? Is Vince going to commit suicide at the end of this show? Did he die last week and no one told us? With all the looks back at Big Mac's career, I really feel like I'm watching The Vince McMahon Memorial Raw. ( JG Note: Hey...Maybe that's why he never answered the invitation to be on Radio Free Insanity.)

Up next: Candice Michele vs. Krystal.

Commercial Break. Get Castrol GTX or else a monster will puke black sludge on your car.

VKM Appreciation Night Celebrity Video: Mark Cuban has respect for Vince McMahon.

7. Raw's Candice Michele pinned Smackdown's Krystal

J.R. and Jerry Lawler talk about Krystal's relationship with Teddy Long. Ross says that he doesn't know any of the "inside or outside dirt." (JG Note: Except why Randy Savage isn't in the Hall of Fame. EXPLAIN YOUSELF, JIM ROSS!) As the announcers talk about tonight's Drafts, I suddenly realize how bored I am. Can't help but say the night's been a letdown. We're two hours in and I'm not really blown away. It is what it is. This one was fairly quick and Candy came out the victor. Her win earns another Draft pick for Raw. Jim Ross calls it a "random." But, wait, didn't Joey Styles say that the choices were pre-picked? I don't get it. Would it be that tough to get everyone on the same page with a some sort of common logic we can all pretend is being applied to the rules? I know it's fake. We all do. But can't we create fake explanations? It would make the whole suspending disbelief thing easier to do.

Raw Drafts...

ECW Champion Bobby Lashley

Toot. Toot.

Lashley's music plays and the ECW Champion shows up. Bobby's appearance on the stage triggers John Coachman's stock hip-hop music. Coach congratulates Robert on coming to Raw, but states that he has some bad news. Since you're now on Raw and not ECW, Mr. McMahon has declared (in the 20 seconds between now and when we first announced you had been Drafted) that you can no longer be ECW Champion.

"Bobby, please, hand the title over to me. Bobby. Please. Please."
     
- John Coachman

The soon-to-be-former ECW Champion grabs Jonathan by his collar and says that he may be giving up his ECW title, but he'll be Champion of Raw soon enough. With that, he hands over his championship and poses for the crowd.

VKM Appreciation Night Celebrity Video: Bob Costas appears. Nice. Bob's brings up Vince's crazy appearance on his HBO show. Not only does Costas hear about that interview all the time, but it made his follow-up guest, the normally volatile Bobby Knight, seem "gentile." For that, he thanks the WWE Chairman. Again, from the gist of these video clips, you can't help but think that Vince McMahon's dead. I'm starting to genuinely worry. It's like a big cover-up. Stephanie! Hunter! What have you maniacs done to Vince?!

Hey Elix.

I'm Elijah Burke.

Oh. Why are you wearing Elix Skipper's entrance attire?

I'm not.

Yes you are.

No I'm not.

Are too.

I'm not...OK, fine. I found it in one of the old lockers at OVW. Now shut up!

8. Smackdown's Batista defeated ECW's Elijah Burke and Raw's Jeff Hardy in a Three Way Match

I wasn't expecting to see Batista come out as the third man in this match. It was good though. WWE needs to put big guys into matches with smaller ones from time to time. That's how you break the stigma of Cruiserweights being out of the Heavyweight league. Unfortunately, you also have to let the big guy beat them so it looks believable. When you factor in that Deacon Dave is chasing World Champion Edge while Jeff is jobbing to Trevor Murdoch and Burke is wrestling CM Punk every week, the finish is a no-brainer. Of course Smackdown's Monster took the victory. Tista tossed Hardy aside and let Elijah Experience The Batista Bomb.

Smackdown Drafts...

Ric Flair

Whooo!

Nice. Another good move. Masters and Flair will both benefit big time from this. We'll miss you on Raw, Ric. Every time I see a crazy old man strip his clothes off and give elbow drops to invisible people, I'll think of you and cry.

VKM Appreciation Night Celebrity Video: Captain Lou Albano tells Vince McMahon that his brain is a dehydrated B.B. He tells the boss that if his brain were implanted in a bird, it would fly backwards. The Captain really lets the boss have it...God rest his soul.

Commercial Break

Back from the commercials, we get a rundown of where everyone stands so far. When we shoot down to Michael Cole and JBL, we learn that Wednesday at noon will feature a WWE supplemental draft. There may be more roster changes announced and that means that all three shows can end up with many new names once next week's round of programming begins.

Are your pipes stuffed? Sounds like you need to call yaw'self a plumba, baby, if you weel. If you need a plumba, baby, you can ask this man. His daddy was a plumba and that makes him the son a.k.a. the 'Merican Dream, baby! Dusty Rhodes is here and he's ready to lay it on thick. Mr. McMahon clawed his way to the top of this industry and created an empire by putting people out of work. Whether you agree with his methods or not, you can't deny that VKM built a legacy. It's everywhere. It's on the "Sold Out" sign out front. It's in the arena. All these guys that talk all their smack about Vince will come running back as soon as the phone call rings again. (JG Note: So says the former TNA D.O.A.) He says that we have to respect the late chairman for all his accomplishments and the things he's done for the business. With that, he walks off and this whole night just seems stranger and stranger. Who else will arrive and offer a McEulogy? Stay tuned!

Up next: Tri-Brand Battle Royal for the final two Draft picks.

Commercial Break. Criss Angel can levitate. Big deal. Derren Brown can make him forget that he did it.

VKM Appreciation Night Celebrity Video: Mean Gene thanks Vince McMahon for giving him the hosting position of TNT...right before it got cancelled. Oh, oh, oh. You also put great promoters out of business and fired Gene after ten years. Luckily, WCW came a calling and Gene-o got a good job out of it. There's much more to the story, but it's too hot for TV. Call Mean Gene now at 1-900-900-WCW1.

9. Randy Orton won a Tri-Brand Battle Royal over Matt Hardy, William Regal, Chavo Guerrero, Mark Henry, Chris Masters, Marcus Cor Von, Tommy Dreamer, Sandman, Matt Striker, Kevin Thorn, Johnny Nitro, Viscera, Eugene, and Kenny Dykstra.

All six (hundred) announcers called the action on this one. As for the guys in the ring, everyone was wearing their brand's t-shirt. It gave me Invasion Flashbacks. Scary. The weirdest looking one was Viscera, who was wearing his teeny shirt like a bib over his silk pajamas. The irony of the whole thing is that the normally ignored Vis ended up being one of the most over guys in the match. Once the action died down, Mabel looked over at Mark Henry and the two giants stared each other down. The crowd popped big and the struggle began. Once it did, the pop died. JBL said that all we need now is "Akeebono and Steven Spielberg." It wasn't until Henry backed off for a moment that he finally returned and threw the World's Largest Love Machine over the top rope. Mizark was a wrecking machine in this one, but ended up falling prey to The Hardy RKO Boys. Matt Hardy grabbed on to the World's Strongest Man and held on tightly while Randy Orton got to his feet. Randall tossed the Olympian over the top and the whole match hinged on Orton vs. Matt. With JBL calling for Matthew to pull it out, the fans rallied for the same. Sadly, he failed. Cowboy Bob's kid tossed Jeff's brother out of the ring and to the floor. Love him or hate him, the Legend Killer has earned Raw the final two Draft picks of the night.

Beep, beep, beep...

Raw Drafts...

Snitsky

Welcome home, Baby Punter. Gene Snitsky is back to the brand that lost him in the shuffle in the fist place. Now that's World Wrestling Insanity , kids.

And now, the second pick...

Beep, beep, beep...

Raw Drafts...

Mr. Kennedy

Mr. Daddy

Nice. Ken shows up and you get the feeling that this is going to be the brand-jump that we remember most from tonight. They say that this is the final pick of the evening and that can only mean one thing. The Draft is over and now it's time for the real man of the (three) hour. Mr. McCrazy - where y'at?

Vince McMahon is alive! Well, actually, he's just standing in a room backstage. They could have pretaped it. Anyway, the boss marches to the ring and it looks like we're about to get confirmation. Is Vince really dead? Find out next!

VKM Appreciation Night Celebrity Video: Stone Cold Steve Austin is sporting the old crazy eyes as he takes us on a trip down Ass Whooping Memory Lane. He revisits many of his greatest moments before going off on a swear-filled tirade against the "lying sack of sh**" that tried to undermine all his success. Now if you want to see the Condemned - give me a Hell's Yeah! Uh...hello? I said give me a Hell's Yeah! Hello? Is this thing on? Aw, man. Screw you guys.

Announced for Vengeance:

WWE Title Match: WWE Champion John Cena vs. Mick Foley vs. Randy Orton vs. Bobby Lashley vs. King Booker

Do or Die World Title Match: World Champion Edge vs. Batista. If Batista doesn't win, he never gets another title shot against Edge again.

No Chance in Hell plays out and that can only mean that tonight's Man of Appreciation is here to play. Vince McMahon is alive and well and ready to address his many fans. His eyes are empty as he stands center ring and looks into the audience. With a hostile crowd booing his every move, the sullen Vince says, "Thanks" and then drops the microphone.

Then without saying another word, the boss turns and slowly steps out of the ring and up the aisle.

He then steps through the curtain. Slowly still.

He walks past the mid-card parade as thousands of WWE's unused performers are all standing single file along all the walls backstage for no reason. It was really strange. I thought they were all doing a satanic ritual.

As he makes his way through Ocean of the Unuses, Vince hits a fork in his journey and chooses to go left. The Coach runs up and stops him. He tells the chairman that his limo is in the other direction. Vinnie responds with the same blank expression he's had for the past few weeks and walks the way Coachman suggested. Again - slowly.

He steps outside. The film quality changes and multiple cameras are on hand to pick up the dramatic action. Mr. McMahon walks on through the parking lot and stops twice to glare at two men who were sitting in the distance. He then approaches his limousine and, ever so slowly, opens the door to step inside.

He steps in.

The door closes and then...

The limo blows up.

Boom!

Seriously. It blew up. Crazy. As the vehicle is engulfed in flames, the announcing runs silent. It appears that Al Wilson has someone to play golf with now and the whole Memorial theme of the night now makes sense. Vince McMahon is dead as we fade to black.

All in all...Wow. He'll do anything to get out of coming on Radio Free Insanity.

That's right. Raw ends in gimmicked wrestling character death - rare, controversial, and sure to drum up discussion.

Throughout the night I kept saying that Vince seemed like he was dying with all the hype he was giving himself. I didn't go back and write that in afterwards. I said as the show went on and ironically, I turned out to be right. The weird thing is that as the night went on, I went from kidding to actually thinking it could be a possibility. With WWE's desire to be pure "television," it only makes sense that their characters can die. The only question that remains is whether or not they can actually kill VKM off. After all, you can retire one year and return for a WWE title match years later. You can't do that if you die, though. If this is the choice that Mr. McMahon has made, it'll be a hard one to back away from later on.

If he's genuinely looking to retire, then more power to him. I'm sure I'll hear from many casual fan friends tomorrow who will want to know if he's really dead. That's the type of talk they need to generate. How they follow it up makes all the difference. With the entire roster standing side by side at the scene of the crime, you get the feeling that "Whodunit" angle is in the cards.  This could be the start of something really interesting if they do it right.

Of course, if this is all just so Vince can return as a Zombie or Mr. McKane, then disregard everything I said.

Draft picks are hit and miss. Snitsky and Khali don't have any real oomph in their new homes. Both guys are going back to places they've been before. This time around, Gene is bald though. So, I guess that's different. The same thing can be said for Torrie Wilson although she might actually get a good shot in the arm from a move to Smackdown.

Kennedy and Booker T on Raw. Flair and Masters on Smackdown. Those all work great. All four of these guys were perfect choices for a switch.

Lashley on Raw is purely paperwork at this point. The guy practically lives on Monday as it is.

Finally, we have Chris Benoit and the Boogeyman in ECW. Will that help the brand? Can anything hurt the brand at this point? Yeah. Exactly.

So, there it is. Three long hours and a finale that seemed more satisfying than the Sopranos. Say what you want about WWE, but they found a way to really knock you for a loop and leave you dying to tune in to ECW just to see what the hell is going on here.

That's it for me, guys.  Be sure teo check out all the new audio up on ClubWWI.com  including over 70 shoot interviews and audio shows hosted by people who have performed and worked with major wrestling promotions.  Keep your eyes peeled as a new name will be joining that group in the next week or so.

Be well!  Thanks for sharing my Insanity.  I'm exhausted.



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