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JG's 6/15/09 Raw Insanity: Donald Trump Will Buy Anything

By James Guttman Jun 15, 2018 - 2:09 PM print


Originally Published June 15, 2009


Welcome to the next generation of WWE!  

Our new kid-friendly programming is everything that any little one needs to get whipped into the world of professional entertainment. WWE's new content works hard to give your child a top notch program free of excessive violence or brutality against women...unless, you know, we really need ratings. Now, for the first time ever, World Wrestling Entertainment is giving kids an all new video game that takes to the street.   Sesame Street, that is. Without further ado...


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WWE Smackdown vs. Elmo

It's the ultimate showdown between the monsters of WWE and the monsters of Sesame Street. Have you ever wondered what would happen when your favorite superstars of USA and PBS went head to head?

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M.V.P. vs. Ernie. Mike Knox vs. Telly. Rey Mysterio vs. Mr. Noodle. Well wonder no more with WWE Smackdown vs. Elmo.  Step into Elmo's World and lace up the boots. It's time for a battle like no other. You take control of the stars from both World Wrestling Entertainment and Sesame Street to make the matches everyone has been waiting to see. With over 50 entertainers to choose from, the possibilities are endless. Challenge for titles and reach the top of the ladder!

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You know how important cooperation is, right? Well so does Smackdown vs. Elmo. Team up with your friends and work together to solve puzzles, color pictures, and beat the living snot out of whoever dares step into the ring with you. If your opponent has two arms and you break one, how many are left? Who cares?! Break the other one!  

 

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Children all over the world will love the adventure that comes alive like never before. Maybe you want to make Oscar The Grouch ECW Champion. Perhaps you'd like to know what would happen if Cookie Monster joined Legacy. Well now you can...

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50 guys not enough for you? Huh? You greedy little bastard. Fine. With all new downloadable content, you can add more superstars to the roster. Upcoming pack includes:

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DLC Pack O ne  

 

The Count
Maryse in Alternate Red Outfit
Jim Ross Dressed As Santa Claus
The Bushwhackers
Masked Kane


(Downloadable Content available July 1, 2009 on PS3 and December 21, 2011 for Xbox 360 Owners)

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Managers play a huge role in WWE TV. Well, that's not true, but we figured we could sell you this game better if we pretend. Put a manager at ringside and really rip the hell out of your foes. Choose stars like Snuffy, Hornswoggle, Zoey, that scary two headed monster that didn't talk right, and many more!

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Just make sure you get back into the ring before the referee counts to ten. If you don't know how to count, don't worry. You'll learn in a hurry. Master all your numbers and letters as you bash people in the face with a chair. They won't feel it. Pain is momentary. Glory is forever. Glory stars with the letter G. See? You're learning already.

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Finally, the truly great aspect of our all new game and the final thing to hook your child on our product like a crack addict in Pampers... Elmo!

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That's right, for the first time ever, Elmo sings the theme songs to all your favorite WWE stars. Including this one for the one and only "Game" Triple H!

Get out there today and grab one before they're all gone!  Well, who are we kidding, they're not going to be all gone.  Just grab them anyway.  Please.  We're not going to beg.  OK, fine.  Maybe we might beg a little, but still.  Don't be a jerk.  If you made a video game, we'd buy it.


 

Life is short, but Raw is long.   How long?   Three hours.   How long is three hours?   It's almost a month of Mass.   But don't tell that to Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler.   They're excited.   Then again, they get paid to be excited.   No one pays us.   If anything, we're supposed to buy Skittles, Armor Oil, and stuff.   Save your shopping for later though.   The task is at hand and the task is a long-ass Raw.

 

Right off the bat, Michael lets us know about the impending return of Mr. McMahon tonight in Charlotte, North Carolina.   Cole thinks it's to name a new GM.   Lawler says he heard the reason is "something else."    That's vague.  With Jerry, you can never be sure if it's a sex reference.

 

Last week, Randy Orton took out Batista.   They went to The Olive Garden and made out in the back of a Camaro.   Triple H then returned and killed everyone because, well, that's what he does.

Before the bell, Chris Jericho says "Blah, blah, blah."   He tosses in some true comments about how crappy Raw is, how he'll set Rey Mysterio "free," and then we go to the match.   That's the best thing about three hour shows.   Everyone gets to talk.   If they could figure out a way to get every fan in the arena to do a 30 second promo, they would.

 

1. Intercontinental Champion Chris Jericho pinned Rey Mysterio after a Codebreaker

 

During the match, WWE put up a graphic with a time countdown to the WWE Title Match.   Good stuff.   It added to the importance of the bout, which if this was 20 years ago, would have been the biggest show in the history of television.   Today – not so much.   No matter though.   It's still better than a lot that we already get for free - which is a lot.   Showing that there must have been a sale on graphic messages, they also had a news ticker-like message about Mr. McMahon's return tonight.   While all this was going on , Rey Mysterio found himself with half a mask on.   Like tunnel-vision, Jericho zeroed in on Min-Mascaras and tried to do whatever he could to remove his head covering.   Mysterio fought back though and the two really got the crowd going.   Using all his high flying moves, Raymond landed everything from Planchas to Sunset Flips.   Rey Rey has a hell of a repertoire.   That's not news to Chris.   Seeing the luchador laying against the ropes, he actually tried to land one of those signature moves - a 619 of his own.   Fozzy, of course, was countered and later on was hit with a 619 Classic.   Do you think that was the end of the Canadian Bret Michaels?   Nope.   The Highlight of the Night went after the mask once more, threw the little guy off his little game, and nailed a Codebreaker to retain.   Pass the ol' El Paso, eh?

 

Up next, Vince McMahon announces the new GM...or does "something else," according to Jerry Lawler.   Way to be sketchy, King.   If McMahon doesn't have pants on when we get back, I'm changing the channel.

 

Commercial Break.  Titanic 2: The Surface

Josh Matthews is awkward and standing with Randy Orton. Yo, Randy. What happened last week? You got punked, son. Orton does his Mexican interview impression and starts intimidating Joshua before moving on to his resume of head punts. So Hunter Hearst Helmsley returns and needs a sledgehammer to fight his battles. Good for him. That won't matter soon, though. Once Dandy Randy takes back that WWE title, no one will know the Game's name...

 

...that's when John Cena comes in to do some standup. Complete in hokey voice and AWA inspired outfit, Cena calls Orton a disrespectful member of the baby oil boys club. Yuk, yuk, yuk. From there, the talk get serious and it seems like the whole waka-waka-waka thing was done to remind the RKO kid that he's got three other foes on his toes tonight. Randall does that weird stare thing he does and then walks away.

 

Back at the announce table, The King and The Cole introduce a video of Vicki Guerrero's surprise retirement. After seeing her Swan Song, we go down to the man who sang the "Stand Back" song, Mr. McMahon.  The fans don't like him much.

 

"I was expecting a little more applause, none the less, I'm here tonight to announce a new General Manger of Monday Night Raw on the flagship show of WWE."

-     Vince McMahon

           

McMahon says that he has no intention of announcing the new General Manager. Instead, he's going to let someone else do it. Who? Not telling. With all these secrets, we need to know some facts. Big Mac gets to the point.

 

"My announcement is that I am selling Monday Night Raw."

-    Vince McMahon

 

...and like that, we have something else to keep us tuned in tonight. How long do we have to wait to find out? Not long.

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"I'll make that announcement as to the person I sold Monday Night Raw to right after we clear up this WWE Championship situation."

-    Vince McMahon

 

Vinnie Mac says that had someone told him that he would be selling the show to the person he's going to name, he would have told them there was "no chance in hell." Hmmm. Hell. Hell is a word with four letters. The word "door" has four letters. There are doors on Hummers. Billy Kidman drove the Hummer into Hulk Hogan's limo. It's Kidman! Kidman buys Raw! Wifebeaters and itching powder for everyone!

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Commercial Break.  Teenage Mutant Reservoir Dogs.

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We're back and Michael Cole sounds like someone just drowned his dog. He's stunned over McMahon's Monday Night Sale Announcement. Jerry Lawler says that he's been with the company since 1993 and this is the most shocking thing he's ever heard. That's because that whole Pat Patterson thing happened in 1992.

 

Hey. Ya dare me to eat puke?

 

No, Tommy. You're next.

 

2. ECW Champion Tommy Dreamer pinned Christian with a Small Package

 

(JG Note: That above statement reads funny. It's like when old timers use the term "hooker."    Only in wrestling.  Watch this - One time I beat a hooker with a small package. HA! See!?)

 

Commentator Matt Striker guesses that Barack Obama might be the new Raw owner since he "owns everything else." It could be. Speaking of taking over, McMahon's announcement took over the show. By putting a timeline on his announcement, people really seemed to tune out. Why care about Christian vs. Tommy Dreamer? All it's doing is killing time until the WWE Title match and announcement which is happening in...oh. Ten minutes. Thank you, on-screen countdown. That's not to say that these two didn't do their thing. It was a good performance, just completely overshadowed by the promise of an Earth Shattering announcement. As things started to close up, Cage went for the Unkillier Switch, but didn't land it. Instead, Thomas dreamed of a small package and made it happen. Count to three. The party's over.

 

Commercial Break.  Ah, Jack.

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OK. We're all set for the five man match between Big Show, John Cena, Triple H, Randy Orton, and Rey Mysterio. Is everyone all...hey. Where's Rey?

 

Oh. Is that who that was? He was delicious.

 

Wonderful. Great. Nice going, Big Show. We'll just make it a four way. Now get out there.

 

3. Randy Orton defeated Big Show, Triple H, and John Cena to win the WWE Title.

 

Everyone got an entrance. Everyone got an in-ring introduction. It was all very professional and sort of sad that they were only doing it so they stretch the show out. It really built up the match and, coupled with all the other exciting things going on, helped to put it over as a big deal. Of course, things started off with Hunter-Orton and Cena-Show. Biggie and John took to the ring while the Evolutionary buddies went outside. Eventually the Game returned to the mat and things went two on two. With The Marine and The Son-in-the-Law working in harmony, Team Evil was tossed from the ring. That's when they finally turned their attention to one another. Keeping things on the up-and-up, Hunter and John exchanged legal holds until it reached the peak. Hunter went for the Pedigree, Johnny reversed it into an F-U, and Big Show knocked them down before it could go anywhere. That's when the baddies returned to the fray and went after their chosen enemies. Things continued on in this pseudo-tag style until Randy ran in and broke up a Show pin attempt. Ort was the least of the Giant's problems. The Cerebral Marines double suplexed him and that sent The Legend Killer in. Once inside, Randall backed up to hit the fallen Big Show with a head punt...but his foot was caught. From that point, it was awn like Teflon. Andre's fake kid went buck silly on everyone in the ring. He beat them all down and seemed to have both J.C. and Trips out of commission. That's when things went crazy. Pedigree by Hunter. "Attitude Adjustment" by Cena. It was wild. Both good guys ended up on the outs, though. Thrown to the outside, they left the ring vacant of all but the Bald Bull. That's when Cowboy Bob's kid ran in to a correct a wrong. Earlier in the match, he was tossed when trying to RKO the Show. This time...he nailed it. 3 seconds later and the belt returns to Captain Crazy.

 

Speaking of crazy, Vince McMahon is crazy about walking. That's what he's doing. Right to the ring. Call Kidman. The announcement is next!   

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Commercial Break.  Ten Things I Hate About Commandments

This is it, kids. Say what you want, but I'm excited. Whenever WWE announces something big at the early stages of a show, you know it won't be horrible. Otherwise, they'd send you home with it and then hope for the best.  To give it the type of build up that they are, you have to think they're happy with what they have planned.  Does that mean it's good?  No.  It means they think it is.  So lets hope for the best.   Mr. McMahon takes to the ring and speaks to us all...

 

"Tonight, I come to you with a heavy heart. I've done a lot of soul searching over ht last several weeks. I've had conversations with family, friends, and financial advisors. At this stage of my career, there's no doubt I have made the right decision to sell Monday Night Raw. Monday Night Raw will be independently owned and operated by a man I've had an history with."
- Mr. McMahon

 

Mac talks about the money he's made from the deal and how happy it has made him. Now, via satellite, the new owner of Monday Night Raw...

 

Donald J. Trump

 

Yup.   I'm not kidding.

 

Donald J. Trump.

 

The new owner of Raw is met with a mixed response. By "mixed," I mean "crappy." Trump talks in the same tone he always does and still has the same issues with Vince McMahon he had two years ago. He wants to show appreciation to the fans. Yeah. That old gag.

 

How does Donald intend to make appreciation happen? By broadcasting Raw commercial-free next week. Again, not much of a reaction. The Donald then announces that he will be at Raw next week live to run things his own way. Grand. Vince talks to this pre-taped segment of Trumpy as if it was live and it's all rather silly.

 

Talk about two steps back. I can't imagine this is going to go well. This is nothing more than a general manager, with stories written by the same creative team. The only difference? Donnie don't act.

 

After dropping the T-Bomb, McMahon lets us know that this isn't one of those announcements that affects the show you're watching.

 

"Until next week, I'm still in charge here tonight."

-           Mr. McMahon

 

OK.  There ya go. So as his last act before this whole publicity stunt fails, Daddy Mac announces that there will be a ten man battle royal to determine Randy Orton's challenger at "The Bash." What Bash? The Bonster Bash.  It was grabeyard sbash.

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Commercial Break.  Doc Brown, I wish I could quit you.

 

I ran out of the room for a drink, but rushed back in case I missed Kevin Federline or something.

 

4. Mickie James pinned Rosa Mendez

 

During this match, Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler tell me that: Donald Trump owns Miss Universe. Donald Trump is on the Apprentice. Donald Trump shaved Vince McMahon's head. Donald Trump is a lifelong WWE fan. Donald Trump had a conversation with Michael a few years ago. Donald Trump owns Trump Plaza. Donald Trump owns golf courses. Donald Trump is the sole owner of Raw. Donald Trump is one of the wealthiest men in the world. Donald Trump is hated by people who are jealous of his money. Oh. And there's some chick named Rosa Mendez who lost.

 

After the bell, Mickie called Maryse into the ring. The Divas Champion ran from ringside, but was kicked at. So she ran away. I wonder what Donald Trump is doing right now.

 

Still to come: Ten Man Battle Royal featuring MVP, William Regal, Cody Rhodes, Ted DiBiase, The Miz, Matt Hardy , Kofi Kingston, Triple H, John Cena, Matt Hardy,and The Big Show.

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Commercial Break.  Paul Burchill's favorite movie.

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Back from the break with ClubWWI.com guest Goldust and Horswoggle. The Oddities are shooting t-shirts into the crowd. The audience pops more for this than they did for Donald Trump.

 

This Mental Floss Moment is interrupted by Mike The Miz. Mizzy comes out and lets Donald Trump know how to make real money with Raw. That's by promoting Miz to the top of the world. Forget John Cena. Mike beat that poseur into unconsciousness. Now, in tonight's battle royal, Double M is going to toss him over the top rope and take the WWE Title at the Bash. From there, he will be on the cover of everything from movie posters to memo pads. Hoorah! The people will love it and...hey. Why is the Freaky Deaky Express still in the ring? Get out of here, Horny...and take Hornswoggle with you!

 

Annoyed at this display of Mizery, Goldust tears into the Real Worlder for his lame-ass attempt to get into Cena's head. Remember Ahmed Johnson? Goldy Frenched him. You ever French the Marine? Get jiggy with Johnny? Huh? No. It's the same ol', same ol'.

 

"I think what you should do is change your name from the Miz to the wiz. When you start talking, that's what everybody gets up to take."

- Goldust

 

Damn this is tiring.   Goldustin says his piece.  Mikey  doesn't like it and responds.

 

"Goldust in 1999 was cool. He was funny. Goldust in 2009 is irrelevant. You're a t-shirt shooting joke. I could beat you down right now, but no one would really care. So you're a waste of my time."
- Mike The Miz


So with that out of the way, Mizerable Mike shows Donald Trump just what he's capable of...

 

Beat up Goldust – Check.

 

Toss Horswoggle – Check

 

Shoot Hornswoggle at close range with a  t-shirt gun – Check

 

That's right. Just when you can't get any more insane - The Real World guy just shot a leprechaun with a gun in the ring.

 

Jerry Lawler reminds us that "obviously that's not a real gun." Uh...yeah. I would hope not. If so, there would be a lot of dead people in the crowd, right?  Yeah.

 

Commercial Break.

Josh Matthews – still awkward. CM Punk – still champion. Punk tells Josh that he has no regrets over using his Money in the Bank chance against Jeff Hardy. No one asked if he had regrets for his actions when he did what he did to Edge last year, right? Right. They gave him a Slammy for it! Now, because it’s Hardy, everyone wants him to feel bad. Nah. Punky busted his butt to win this chance at WrestleMania and he earned the opportunity to face whoever he wanted.   Now if there are no further questions...

 

Hi. Hi there. Hi. Matt Hardy is here to ease your conscience, C.M.   The Hardy Boy ran in just to let you know that had he been in the same position as you, he'd have done the same thing. Don't sweat it, greasy. Matthew feels ya.

 

"That would be pretty difficult considering that you've never won Money in the Bank. You've never been World Champion once or twice."
- CM Punk

 

It's official. ECW World Title doesn't count.

 

The Champion tells Matty to keep his jealousy to himself. You and he are nothing alike. He is an American. You are a sick asshole.   You want my briefcase?  Huh?  Here's your briefcase!  Now clear a path. Punk's going home.

 

Last Monday, Edge told Vickie Guerrero that he wanted a divorce. I want the wok back that I sent them.

 

Untrue CM Punk Fact: CM Punk does not drink because he has a small camel-like hump in his lower back that stores water from the atmosphere to keep him hydrated.

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5. C.M. Punk defeated Edge and Jeff Hardy to retain the World Title when he pinned Edge

 

J.R says that the title loss broke Jeff Hardy's "heart but not his spirit." It broke his heart. Awww. Between the rainbow headed warrior thing, it's like Ross is on a mission to make Jeff seem as fruity as possible. They should just cover him in streamers and give him one of those Johnny B. Badd guns. All that aside, this three way feud is the best thing WWE has going on right now – hands down. All three of these guys were made to wrestle each other. Punk seems to fit into the Hardys-Edge/Christian equation like an interchangeable part.    His wrestling style is very similar in that it's aerial, but not limited to that. He has a lot of skills and to be able to blend into a feud between two guys with such chemistry already says a lot about him. They worked all the three-way match moves. Edge locked on a Scorpion to Punk. While he pulled back, Hardy ran in and locked on a sleeper – that sort of thing. Everyone seemed to share the advantage until Jeffery pulled ahead. He took control of both the R-Rated and Straight Edge Superstars. As is the case with most multi-man matches, all the guys ran through a round of missing their finishers and having them reversed into other finishers. While it doesn't take away from the match, it gets mundane when you see it in every three or four-way match. While some spots were the same you normally see, there were some others you don't. Like what? The ol' gimmicked injury. At one point, Punker fell from the top rope to the ring steps below. On the way down, he hit his knee and it caused the trainer to come out and play pushy-pushy with his leg. In the ring, the battle raged on. The bum knee didn't stop the champion from jumping in to defend his spot. Both times, he grabbed Jeff from making the pinfall. On the last occasion, he not only pulled him off, but he slammed him into the steps. The Hardy Boy fell and C.M. ran into the ring. He covered Edgy and it was all over but the shouting. Ahhh! OK. Now it's all over.

 

J.R. says that "Jeff Hardy's heart must be broken again." Awwww. Does he need a hug and some Crystal Light?

 

Following the pinfall, Smackdown General Manager Teddy Long makes a ten second cameo. He swaggers out and lets Punko know that at the Bash, he'll defend his World Title against Jeff Hardy! Yeah! You bring the nailpolish, I'll bring the "Twilight" novels.

 

Commercial Break.

6. The Colon Brothers defeated The Hart Dynasty via Disqualification when Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase interfered.

 

Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler have some new friends – Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase. The Legacians are here to watch the following match very closely. They're also here to look "more better than we already look" by sitting next to the announcers. Those are Ted's words, not mine. Even Lawler jumped in and questioned if he said "more better." The Million Dollar Baby denied it. Forget all that. This is about the match at hand. Codibiase is here to watch the Colon Brothers. That's who they're facing at the Bash for the Unified Tag Titles. Cody then allows the announcers to keep quiet while they do a promo over the bout. Right off the bat, Rhodes refers to the pay-per-view as "The Great American Bash." No biggie. Nothing wrong with great Americans. Ben Franklin. Miley Cyrus. Abe Lincoln. Good people. It's a bit sad to see the Raw debut of the Hart Dynasty overshadowed by the Legacy Commentary team. The purpose of it all was to put over the Bash bout, rather than watch this match.   Even the finish wasn't about them.  In fact, when things looked ready for the Caribbean Cools to get the win, Teddy and BroDust ran in and caused the DQ.  Sorry guys.  Legacy didn't screw the Hart Dynasty.  The Hart Dynasty screwed the Hart Dynasty.

 

Backstage, Triple H is on his way to the ring for the ten man battle royal. Like Goldberg on a deli line, he's next.

 

Commercial Break.

 

Ciao! It's'a Santino Marella! SanMar is seated on Vince McMahon's couch and he has some issues about the new owner. Will Mr. Trump be firing people? Maybe a person with a fake twin sister?  VKM doesn't think Santa needs to worry.

 

"Knowing Donald, he may be attracted to your sister."
- Mr. McMahon


Hmmm.  Wow.  Well, you think you know a person, huh? Learn something new every...

 

No Chance...that's what you got...

 

That's Vince's ringtone. Mac answers the phone and tells "Donald" that he wants the business transition to be smooth. Instead, he's making it kind of rough. And...huh? You want to make an announcement after the battle royal? Well, why not let Mr. McMahon make it for you? Tell him and he'll announce it. No? Why not? Oh.

 

"You want impact?"
- Mr. McMahon

 

Wow.  He's the only one.

 

Angered, Mr. McMahon hangs up his phone and tells the Italian Crossdresser that he hates a billionaire with an ego. Smirking, Marella says, "You must hate yourself then." Realizing his error, he tries to correct himself and it just gets worse....

 

"Next to Donald Trump, you're not that rich."

"Getting older, you should spend time with the grandkids. You're 70 now. "

 

This gets a cold glare that tells Ru-Paulo to hit the bricks.

 

"...you're younger than me! I gotta go!"

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7. Triple H won a Ten Man Battle Royal

 

We kicked things off straight Battle Royal style. No one was the focus. No one did anything too special. They all just kicked and stomped around the ring. Things never start going until the first guy gets bounced. Then...the floodgates open.  Speaking of the first elimination, Matt Hardy though he outsmarted everyone. He rolled to the outside under the bottom rope. Yeah. Nice try, fake cast.  Big Show's here to yank him back in...just to toss him back out.

 

1.       Matt Hardy by Big Show

2.       MVP by Big Show

 

Told ya. Floodgates. Seeing this, the entire ring teamed up...

 

3.       Big Show by Everyone.

 

Once Biggie's out, Michael Cole says that anyone could win now. I hate when they do that. Saying that would imply that Show wins all the battle royals he's in. Does he ever? I mean, he's usually the runner up. He rarely wins. Even going back to that thing with the Rock in 2000. You can't just say, "Hey. I'm good at Battle Royals." You have to actually be good at them.

 

4.       Miz during a commercial break, I guess.

 

We're back and he's gone. I can only guess they're just not showing us. Things slowed down at this point, but only for a little while. Legacy was especially brutal in their attacks on The Game and Cena – who seem to be BFFs now. Why? You tell me. With Hunter on his way over the top rope by Cody and Ted, John ran in and knocked them out of the way. Then, he let Trips get back in the ring. Must not care about that belt, huh buddy? Just looking for friends? A pal? A compadre? Bah.  That doesn't wash with Gamy. Hunter steps up and the punches fly. So much for slumber parties. There's a fight to be had. After a good amount of back and forth, they hit the Warrior-Hogan double clothesline spot and fell. This allowed the action to focus on Kofi Kingston, who pulled some crazy Eddie from Tekken moves on Randy Orton's buddies.    That lasted for a brief while until...

 

5.       Kofi Kingston by Ted DiBiase and Cody Rhodes.

6.       William Regal by Ted DiBiase and Cody Rhodes.

 

Coming down to the four men we all expected it to come down to in the beginning, we're left with Rhodes and Ted against Helmsley and Cena. The heels go on the offensive and alternate between double teaming and one and one beatdowns. They keep The Gamy Marines down with punches and kicks, but that can't go on forever. J.C. pops up like a Mentos filled Cola bottle...

 

7.       Ted DiBiase by John Cena.

 

Johnny follows up by tossing out Cody. Only problem – Rhodes doesn't touch the ground. He rolls back in and stands behind the sneaker-wearing babyface. Seeing this, Trips, from across the ring, charges...

 

8.       Cody Rhodes by Triple H.

 

This leaves the two good guys in the ring...but they're not alone. Mike the Miz is under the ring! What?! I assumed that he got tossed during the commercial, but apparently the announcers didn't see him go and never noticed that he wasn't in the ring. Good eyes, guys. You get paid for this stuff! Yeah. The ol' under the ring trick...

 

Miz returned to the ring, eyed his prey, and ran in for an attack.

 

9.       Mike The Miz by Triple H and John Cena.

 

Miz is out and he's not alone for long.

 

10.   John Cena by Triple H.


Phew. We're done. Just one more announcement...

 

Donald Trump shows up on the screen and shows us even more how much he likes to waste money. Hunter's title match against Randy Orton won't be at the Bash. It'll be next week...live...free... with no commercials.

 

The Rosie-Hatin' GM with a fancy title's Titan Tron fades, Hunter glares, and Randy scowls from the ramp as we fade to black.

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All in all... Another day.   Another quest for mainstream attention.

 

Is this the way to get it?   Probably not.   I mean, we went to the Donald Trump well once already.   Name recognition isn't carrying him the way it used to and without a Rosie O'Donell feud, it's more random than anything.

 

The worst part is that this is nothing more than a GM angle with an untrained actor or wrestler.   It makes no sense.   There was really nothing fresh about this and it's sad to say.   As you saw, I was looking forward to it before they announced the Donald.   It just seems like another round of the same ol' stuff.

 

Next week – that's the big Raw, right?   So tune in for that.   We can overanalyze this all day, but until we see what's planned for the first Donald Trump Raw, we won't know for sure whether this will be good, bad, or ugly.  

Be sure to check back in the next few days.  There's a brand new ClubWWI.com audio show hosted by a former WWF star and major titleholder that will be unlike any other.  Trust me on that one.  Plus, more uncut shoots and plenty of other stuff on the way.  That does it for me, guys.   Be Well!   Thanks for sharing my Insanity!

 



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JG's Ten Beloved TV Characters Who Were Obvious Psychopaths
JG's 10 More Fun Ways To Infuriate People Online
JG's Ten Insider Wrestling Terms You Shouldn't Use When Talking About Something Besides Wrestling
JG's Insanity: The 10th Annual WWE Memorial Day Barbecue
JG's Ten Demented Ways We Misused Our Toys
JG's 15 Fun Ways To Infuriate People Online
JG's Ten Sesame Street Muppets That Are Missing And Presumed Dead
JG's Scene From WWE Raw (After Vince McMahon Goes Senile)
JG's Ten Signs You Were A Wrestling Fan Of The 1980s
JG's Insanity: Stone Cold's Greatest Moments (Without Stone Cold)
JG's Ten Wrestling Moves That Really Hurt When You Try Them At Home
JG's Insanity: Everybody Is Tito Santana
JG's Ten Reasons Why WWF LJN Figures Were The Greatest Toys Ever
JG's Ten Judges Who Would Make American Idol Worth Watching
JG's 2012 in Pictures (As Hulk Hogan Will Remember It)
JG's Quintuple Bypass Surgery Insanity
JG's Five Episodes of Diff'rent Strokes That Scarred Me For Life
JG's Ten Facebook Posts That Are Slowly Driving Me Crazy
JG's Ten Truly Terrible Reality Competition Shows
JG's Ten 1980s TV Characters Who Taught Me To Hate
JG's Ten Wrestling Characters Who Went Through Massive Personality Changes
JG's Ten Old School Wrestlers Who Would Terrorize Today's PG WWE

The Challenge: Final Reckoning - Episode 2
TGIF: A New Day For Hulk, MLW's Major League Potential, and More
The ROHbot Report: Nashville Return, Top Contenders 6-Man Gauntlet, And More
The Challenge: Final Reckoning - Episode 1
TGIF: Japanese Garden Party of Honor, Rib JR's Rib, and More
The ROHbot Report: Bully-Burger Steal the Show, NWA Title in ROH, And More
Anime Verdict: Street Fighter 2 The Animated Movie
TGIF: Hug Therapy, Down Goes Dalton, and More
The ROHbot Report: Best in the World Review, Fairfax TV Tapings, And More
TGIF: Dog Bites Artist, All Them, and More
The Challenge: Champs vs. Stars 3 - Finale & Reunion
The ROHbot Report: Best in the World '18, TV Classic Main Event, And More
TGIF: Cass'd Away, DIY Does It Again, and More
The ROHbot Report: State of the Art Reviews, ROH International Cup, And More
The Challenge: Champs vs. Stars 3 - Episode 9
TGIF: The Greatest Professional Wrestling Match Of All Time
The ROHbot Report: San Antonio/Dallas Previews, Bullies Dominate, and More
The Challenge: Champs vs. Stars 3 - Episode 8
TGIF: CM Punk Gets One More WWE Victory, Constable Corbin, and More
The ROHbot Report: Austin Aries Goes For The Gold, NY TV Results, And More
Solo: A Star Wars Story Review
TGIF: You Can't Teach Rap, NBC's World Wrestling Embarrassed, and More
The Challenge: Champs vs. Stars 3 - Episode 7
The ROHbot Report: UK Tour Reviews, TV Recap, And More
The Challenge: Champs vs. Stars - Episode 6
TGIF:The Lashley Girls Kill RAW, Merging Impact, and More
The ROHbot Report: Honor United Previews, ROH TV Episode 348, And More
The Challenge: Champs vs. Stars 3 - Episode 5
TGIF: Nia Gets Rowdy, All In All Sold Out, and More
The Challenge: Champs vs. Stars 3 - Episode 4


-

JG's 7/21/08 Raw Insanity: John Cena Accidentally Punches Batista On Purpose
Jul 21, 2018
JG's 7/20/10 NXT Insanity: McGillibuddies Make Michael Cole Want To Throw Up
Jul 20, 2018
JG's 7/14/03 Raw Insanity: Kane Isn't Burned, But J.R. Is
Jul 14, 2018
JG's 7/13/10 NXT Insanity: Nextivus For The Rest of Us
Jul 13, 2018
JG's 7/12/04 Raw Insanity: Kane's a Woman
Jul 12, 2018
JG's 7/11/05 Raw Insanity: Poor Man's Pillman V1
Jul 11, 2018
JG's 7/6/09 Raw Insanity: Ted DiBiase Breaks The Fifth Commandment
Jul 6, 2018
JG's 7/4/05 Raw Insanity: Chavo Guerrero becomes White
Jul 4, 2018
JG's 7/2/07 Raw Insanity: Has Anyone Seen Daniel Beck?
Jul 2, 2018
JG's 6/19/06 Raw Insanity: Vince Pumps Chickens
Jun 19, 2018
JG's 6/18/07 Raw Insanity: Mick Foley Gets A Samoan Bulldozing
Jun 18, 2018
JG's 6/15/09 Raw Insanity: Donald Trump Will Buy Anything
Jun 15, 2018
JG's 6/14/04 Raw Insanity: Hunter is Eugene's Best Friend
Jun 14, 2018
JG's 6/11/07 Raw Insanity: Vince McMahon Finally Gets Appreciation...Then He Dies
Jun 11, 2018
JG's 6/5/06 Raw Insanity: Shane-O-Mac Trips On Preggo Powder
Jun 5, 2018
JG's 5/31/04 Raw Insanity: Why Kane is a Bad Friend
May 31, 2018
JG's 5/30/05 Raw Insanity: Kane's a Fourth Grader And Other Love Stories
May 30, 2018
JG's 5/28/07 Raw Insanity: The McMumble Express Debates
May 28, 2018
JG's 5/27/08 ECW Insanity: Jamaican My Eye Bleed
May 27, 2018
JG's 5/26/09 ECW Insanity: You're Not In The Hart Dynasty
May 26, 2018

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